Fourth of July Picnic
Hey, welcome to the picnic grounds - just lay your blanket and basket over by the shelter while I get these coals going. You want chicken, a burger, or a dog? Oh, wow, you brought some of that famous potato salad, huh? Wife just loves that stuff!!
Are you virtual yet? Oh. Well, gee this is about what my technology will allow. You could dab some French's mustard under your nose, or singe your eyebrows.
See, I want you to feel that timeless pleasure of the Fourth, when we in the U.S. celebrate our freedom and pay tribute to our forefathers. Oh, not George Washington or Tom Jefferson or those guys - I mean the Cro-Magnons, our spunky hominid ancestors, who first thought of charring mammoth flesh millennia prior to the invention of the Weber Grill by skilled Stanford scientists (Nobel Prize, 1954). They had no propane technology or mesquite chips or any of the modern barbecuing necessities we take for granted. There was no honey dijon or Kansas City molasses or hot and spicy garlic sauce with which to slather the Cenozoic mammals - just whatever flavoring was imparted by the scuttling creatures or swamp vegetation upon which the grillees fed. The frustration of the pre-propane suburban griller was nothing compared to that of the Cro-Magnon, who may have spent hours getting the stick-and-peat pit fire going as his large-foreheaded spouse and children whined about when dinner would be ready and whether they should make the salad yet and how they would keep the pesky 14-foot pre-bears away from the chips. I'm only speculating here, of course, but I cannot emphasize the scientific marvel that is the one-start ignition gas grill.
So grab a bat and a ball, or a seat at the redwood table, and enjoy some summertime presets.
Download july4.zip, but hey, don't load up the car and head out yet! In honor of the holiday, I've prepared an additional trio of charcoal briquets - just out of the bag; semi-volcanic (not yet); and near ash gray (put on the meat and get ready to eat potato chips for the next 55 minutes).
I think we're ready now, so download charcoal.zip.