Planet Preset
Menu
Wheatfest!!
If it's August, it's time to celebrate the byproducts
of Midwest grain production. And you thought it was just the breadbasket
before the big platter of lobster...
Agstravaganza
Come on down to the farm, where we've rustled up
a passel of cow and pig and rooster and other delightful, smelly treats...
Home Cookin'
In a warm, inviting place where everything is fried
or covered in gravy, Old Chef Martin has whomped up a whole mess of vittles.
Whoeeee (urp, sorry)!
Le Salade Bar
Beyond the world of red meat, white meat, and all
the succulent shades in between, there is a place where the herbivore within
us can munch on greens and, um, other greens...
Condiment Fest
What's that on your bun? Ah, it's the piquant taste
of Condiment Fest, the Bladepro Cafe's annual tribute to those colorful
toppings that help lubricate your dry, tough munchies. Mmmmm....
Minimart Munchies
Need a Mountain Dew fix, some chips to get you
through the last few miles home, the hearty wholesome goodness of some
teryaki beef jerky? Well, pull in at pump #1 and grab some munchies for
the road...
The Y2K Beach Blowout
It's a Y2K Lobsterfest at Planet Preset!!! Plus
clams, mussels, octopus, crawdads, and other potentially toxic delights
from the murky deep. Plus, a special champagne preset for the New Y2Kear...
Christmas in 'Proland
Remember the good old days, when Claymation reindeer
did battle with 'Bominable Snowmen, Jimmy Stewart
and Donna Reed were in the public domain, and Christmas
dinner was topped with enough sugar and chocolate to send greater metropolitan
Newark into shock. Come feast of Oreos, peppermints,
pecan bars, and other Yuletide goodies. NO! No figgie pudding!!!
Thanksgiving Feast
Ah, you brought a guest, huh? Love the nose ring.
Have some turkey and yams and pumpkin pie and... Oh, you're pagan. We might
have some goat heart, somewhere...
Presets of Terror
CAUTION: These Halloween presets are not designed
for the fainthearted, those under cardiac care, or the
aesthetically sensitive. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Halloween Treats
Well, isn't that a CUTE costume you came up with?!?
Here, have a handful of caramels, Jolly Ranchers, Red Hots, Twizzlers,
and licorice. They're digital, so don't worry about the calories.
Brown Bag Specials
Whether you're an Ohio fifth grader, a Silicon
Valley software author, or a construction worker from Queens, you know
the joys of crumpled sandwiches, fractured Doritos, and severely contused
fruit. Well, I packed your lunch today -- bologna, peanut butter and jelly,
a nice brownie, and a little foil-wrapped surprise...
Veggie Mix
Sorry, but every once in a while, you have to have
some presets that are good for you, instead of the crap you're continually
downloading from this site. Have some potatoes, carrots, turnips, and other
crunchables. And to top it off, The BladePro Cafe Star Wars: Phantom Menace
trivia quiz.
The Fruit Basket
Hey, baby, groove on some ripe, juicy fruit presets.
Apples, peaches, cantaloupe, coconut, and other natural (well, um, naturally
computer generated, sort of), er, treats, all offered within the exploitive
framework of a summer movie parody. Oh, bee-have, now!
The Virtual Fourth of July
Picnic
Welcome to the BladePro Cafe picnic grounds. We
got some virtual ribs and burgers on the grill, plus some juicy preset
corn on the cob and watermelon and a chocolaty sundae cone to top it all
off. PLUS: Charcoal presets to make your graphic grilling more pleasurable.
Ballpark Bounty
Harry Caray, the late Voice of the Cubbies, put
it best: "HOLY COWWW!" He might have been speaking with agricultural reverence
about the delights of the concession
stand - the succulent beef franks, the dripping
at least semi-dairy nacho cheese, and other non-bovine morsels to which
I dedicate this latest roster of presets.
It Came From The Refrigerator
Submitted for your approval: The ageless detritus
of foolish and excessive grocery selections, now reduced to a jumble of
miscellaneous bottles, boxes, bags, and mold. At the signpost ahead - you
have now entered....
The Breakfast Platter
Wake up and smell the presets! Waffles, a selection
of hearty cereals, bagels and lox, and even a glazed
breakfast pastry to get the day going.
The
Cracker Basket
Uh, we've got kind of a logjam
in the kitchen, and we seem to have lost your reservation. Here's some
crispy Triscuit, Saltine, and other yummy
cracker presets with a few
savory toppings...
The Italian Buffet
Extravaganza
A delightful combo of Mediterranean presets, from
hearty pizza and ravioli to zesty marinara sauce and roasted
peppers. Plus Martin's special recipe lowfat Chicken
Parmesan.
The
Mexican Feast
A spicy selection of South-of-the-Border favorites,
including guacamole, blue corn tortilla chips, and refried beans. Top it
all off with Martin's one-alarm Nonchalant Nachos.
The
Dessert Cart
Something sweet to finish off your visit? Let us
roll out our Dessert Cart, featuring sponge cake, butterscotch,
chocolate chips, and a refreshing mint preset.
More presets soon. Come back now!
Like our service? Complaints? Got some tasty presets
you'd like to include on the Cafe menu? E-mail
me.