FADE IN
EXT. ROBERT TALMAN’S OFFICE, RADLEY COLLEGE - DAY
A distinguished-looking man in his late 50s with a mane of wavy but tidy
gray hair, Professor of Astrophysics, ROBERT TALMAN is sitting at his desk,
talking on the phone.
Talman’s office is tidy and uncluttered.
Rows of books, including several by the professor himself, line
the shelves built into two of the walls.
A laptop computer with a blank screen sits on a small table in one corner.
TALMAN
(Blushing)
Yes, it is a great honor, sir.
And I never expected it. With
so many distinguished scientists to choose from. And I think I can speak on
behalf of the college and the faculty.
They really should share in this, too.
I look forward to meeting you soon.
No, I don’t know Swedish, but my wife taught me a few words.
She studied at Lund University, you know. Can’t wait to tell
her. Yes, that’s right, sir.
I’ll speak to you soon.
And thank you again.
Goddag!
Talman leans back in his chair and exhales, his eyes gleaming.
He smiles broadly as a small tear trickles down one cheek.
He wipes it away.
There is a knock on the door and a second later a student bursts
in.
NERD
I’m sorry, Professor Talman. Somehow the call came to my extension by mistake.
(His eyes widen)
Was that what I thought it was?
Talman beams at him.
TALMAN
It was indeed.
NERD
Does that mean you’ve …
TALMAN
(Winks)
Know any fun things to do in Stockholm, Xavier?
NERD laughs, his pride and admiration apparent
.
NERD
Congratulations, Professor Talman.
That is awesome!
Talman moves from behind his desk and gives the nerd a gentle pat on the
back.
TALMAN
Thanks. It’s been a long struggle
son, but I’ve made it and so can you … one day.
So don’t give up on those all night research sessions yet,
okay?
NERD
(Laughs)
Just as long as Johnny’s Pizza stays open all night!
Still smiling, Talman puts one arm around the nerd’s shoulders and ushers
him to the door.
TALMAN
Now as my best teaching assistant, Xavier - yes, that’s you - I want you
to spread the word as quickly as you please, but not so fast that Margery
hears it from the mail carrier before she hears it from me.
It’ll be on the news by tomorrow I should think.
Talman pulls a ten-dollar bill from his pocket.
TALMAN
Have some lunch to calm your nerves first, okay?
Exit NERD, still a little breathless.
Talman dials his wife.
TALMAN
Margery, it’s me. Oh, that’s
good. Listen darling - I just
got a call from something they call the Nobel Prize Committee.
He pauses as a squeal of delight is heard from the other end of the phone
line.
TALMAN
Yes, that’s right, it looks like we’ll be going to Stockholm.
Yes, it’s wonderful.
I’m still pinching myself.
Let’s celebrate all week if you want!
Love you too, honey.
I’ll be home as soon as my car can fly me.
Warp speed. That’s right.
Bye, darling.
Talman pulls his jacket off the chair.
As he leaves his office a small mob of students greets him, shaking
his hand, shouting congratulations at him. Talman smiles graciously at them
and dashes to his silver Mercedes.
EXT. TALMAN’S HOUSE - DAY
Talman’s house, a multi-turreted Victorian mansion on the outskirts of the
Radley College campus. As the
scene opens, Margery, an attractive, impeccably groomed woman about 15 years
Talman’s junior, opens the door just as the professor sticks his key in the
lock.
INT. HALLWAY
Door barely closed, Margery throws her arms about her husband.
MARGERY
Congratulations, darling.
Margery kissed her husband eagerly but chastely on the lips. Talman pulls
her gently away and strokes her hair.
TALMAN
Now we can finally write our own ticket, Margery.
He pulls her close again, but stiffens as he sees a young man seated in
the far end of his living room.
MARGERY
Jon came over to congratulate you personally.
Wasn’t that sweet of him?
TALMAN
Jon! How nice of you to come over like this. Hope you’re staying for dinner?
He pulls off his coat and hands it to Margery, trying very hard to look
pleased. He eases himself into an armchair facing a serious-looking young
man, JON WELK.
JON
I wanted to congratulate you, Bob.
Diane told me all about it.
TALMAN
Glad to hear you’re still seeing Diane.
JON
(Sighs)
Just wish Dad were here to share this with you.
Talman’s smile is replaced by an expression of sadness.
TALMAN
So do I, son. Victor and I went
back a long time. Ever since our
undergraduate days. Your Dad
was a genius and everyone at Radley knew it.
JON
Did they really? Oh, sorry,
I didn’t mean it. It’s just that-
TALMAN
You don’t have to explain it.
It’s been a month since Victor passed away, hasn’t it?
What wouldn’t I give to share this moment with him.
Jon looks at him intently, his lips tight, eyes slightly glazed.
TALMAN
Are you okay?
JON
We need to
talk, Bob.
TALMAN
What about?
`
JON
About you
and Dad.
Margery places a gin and tonic in front of her husband
.
MARGERY
Today we’re having filet mignon, boys, so prepare yourselves for a feast.
What would you like to drink, Jon?
JON
Uh, just some
whiskey on the rocks, please.
Talman sips his tonic and looks intently at Jon.
TALMAN
So - please
tell me what’s on your mind.
JON
No. We need
to talk privately.
Talman’s body stiffens against his comfortable armchair.
He pauses and scratches his head.
Margery returns with Jon’s drink.
TALMAN
My study okay?
Jon nods.
TALMAN
Margery, Jon and I will be adjourning to the study.
MARGERY
Oh?
TALMAN
Just boy talk,
darling. We’ll be right back.
Talman and Jon Welk walk into
the study. The professor takes care to close the door behind him.
INT. STUDY
Jon takes a swig from his glass, nearly emptying it in one gulp.
JON
I went though Dad’s office at the observatory this weekend.
All his files.
It was hard at first, being reminded of everything that had meant so much
to him … and to me, but I suppose you know that.
Talman nods as both men sit down in office chairs.
JON
Fascinating stuff all that about wormholes and time warps.
I used to think that was only things you’d find on Star Trek.
All those amazing computations you and Dad did, how closely
you worked together all those years.
And then that string theory equation that made people call you
the American Hawking.
Talman shrugs, his expression a bit distant now as his mind floods with
memories. He taps one finger
against the arm of the chair.
JON
(Laughs)
You and Dad were like the Crick and Watson of astrophysics.
I loved you both.
Saw more of you than I ever did of my uncles.
Jon gulps the last drop of whiskey. Talman plunks his nearly empty glass
down on the desk beside him.
TALMAN
All right, Jon, something’s bothering you.
It hardly takes a Ph.D. to see that.
Come on now, tell me.
Jon’s face is pale even in the amber light of the study.
He stares at the professor, the anger of betrayal glowing
in his eyes. As he speaks, his
lips tremble.
JON
How could you do it, Bob? That
equation relating to celestial matter was Dad’s idea, not yours.
Those notes of his were made ten years ago, when both of you
were still working together, long before you published that God-damned bestseller
of yours!
Talman’s normally affable expression has stiffened into one of fear, but
only for a moment. He tips
his head a little.
TALMAN
Jon, Jon -
what’s this you’re talking about?
JON
You know damn well what I’m talking about!
Jon springs from the chair and walks to the end of the study, facing a wall
covered with Talman’s awards of merit and honorary degrees.
JON
Dad was every bit as smart as you, Bob, he just didn’t have your talent
for self-promotion. And that’s
why he, not you, should’ve gotten that Nobel Prize.
Jon turns to face him accusingly.
JON
I found Dad’s notebook. He kept it at the observatory.
TALMAN:
So?
JON
It’s the notebook with the stellar velocity computations, the one where
Dad also expanded on Einstein’s relativity theory and came up with a coherent
equation describing the properties of the universe’s missing mass.
TALMAN
You know we were both working on that ten years ago.
And being a physicist yourself, you know that most of that
was little more than groundwork for what I was working on later.
JON
Groundwork my foot! The equations
were the same ones in your book, the prized book that had the scientific world
buzzing about this new genius that challenged and went beyond Einstein himself.
And I know you must have seen them a long time ago.
Jon pulls one hand through his hair and takes a deep breath.
JON
Damn it, why did you have to steal Dad’s work without so much as a footnote
in your book? Dad loved you like
a brother and this is how you repaid him.
TALMAN
There, there now. I’m sure it’s
not as bad as you think it is.
Sure, Victor may have been the first one with the germ of the idea, but
you know how often we scientists build upon the work of others without always
specifying the source of our ideas.
Damn it, sometimes we absentminded types don’t even remember. And
if you recall, I did give your father a nice acknowledgment in that God-damn
book of mine you mention. Remember that!
JON
Yeah. But it said nothing about
Dad’s contribution to your research.
Not one stinking word-
Jon bangs his hand against Talman’s chair and leans over him, his breath
hot against the top of his head.
TALMAN
Shhhh.
Let’s not upset Margery, okay?
JON
I don’t give a hoot who’s upset.
I’m not accepting what you’ve done to Dad.
And I’d like to know what you’re going to do about this.
I think the Nobel Committee would take a rather dim view of
your plagiarizing, don’t you?
Talman’s mask of calm at last crumbling, he bangs his hand against the armrest.
TALMAN
It isn’t plagiarizing!
Jon smiles as he circles Talman like a vulture circling its prey.
JON
“Was”, Bob, it was the plagiarizing that you did, in the past tense, before
you became the venerable and principled scientist you are now.
Jon laughs.
JON
You know that you wouldn’t have come upon that key equation without Dad.
Oh yes, I see you realize that now.
Talman takes a deep breath.
TALMAN
So what you’re doing is threatening me?
Is that what this is?
Jon leans down so that Talman can smell the whiskey on his breath.
Only now does he realize that Jon has already had a few drinks
before coming there. Talman winces
and turns his head away.
JON
It’s whatever you want it to be.
What I want is an admission from you.
Jon places his empty glass on the desk.
JON
To set the record straight, I mean.
Maybe the Nobel Prize Committee will feel sorry enough for you
to give you an honorary prize.
Or maybe they’ll even let you share the prize with Dad.
Hey, it’s not so bad.
Jon pats Talman contemptuously on the cheek.
TALMAN
It’s really a shame, Jon. A
shame you’re forgetting about those little peccadilloes of yours and who
helped you with them. Professor
Jon Welk, scientist, drunk driver and womanizer.
Who was it that bailed you out last month when you nearly
killed yourself in that accident?
Good thing the Dean didn’t find out about that little … incident-
JON
(Turning away)That’s not important anymore. And don’t try to change the
subject, okay? It doesn’t change
what you did.
TALMAN:
Okay.
Talman raises himself from the chair and walks over to the younger man.
TALMAN
You know I’ve always looked at you as the son I never had.
When have I ever tried to hurt you, Jon?
I mean, aren’t the years I helped you and fought for you at
Radley worth a little something in return?
He places his arm about Jon’s shoulders.
JON
Not Dad’s
honor and reputation it isn’t!
TALMAN
I know that. But I was just
thinking about you and your mother.
I know Victor didn’t leave you a whole lot.
Nancy told me about the mortgage just last week and the
debts he left behind. It’ll take
the two of you a whole lot of years to pay them, won’t it?
JON
What are you
driving at?
TALMAN
I have been thinking of helping you and Nancy out a little.
Margery and I have all we need - financially that is - and
we have been thinking …
JON
Are you trying
to blackmail me?
TALMAN
Oh Jon, why must you make everything I say sound so sordid?
No, I just thought I’d bring this up now, just to show you
that I’m not the enemy.
Jon shrugs.
JON
How very convenient.
TALMAN
Victor wasn’t much of a businessman.
He was a visionary, the most dedicated and brilliant one I knew-
(His voice breaks a little.)And as for his reputation, I plan on making a
little speech in Stockholm when the time comes.
He squeezes Jon’s shoulder.
TALMAN
Let’s just say I’d like you and Nancy to be there, in the audience.
And expect to be pleasantly surprised.
Jon looks up at him, his features softening.
JON
You’d do that?
TALMAN
Of course I would. And there’s
more to come, Jon, for you and Nancy. (He chuckles softly.)Do you know that
I had a little crush on your Mom before she married Victor?
The prettiest gals always went for your Dad.
Jon smiles in spite of himself.
TALMAN
Maybe it was that British accent of his.
Anyway, son, I think we need to talk about this some other time.
Are you going to be at the observatory this Wednesday?
Jon nods.
JON
I still have to go through Dad’s files.
Clean out the dupes and stuff.
TALMAN
Fine. I’ll be over at about
seven and we can talk about Victor and ways I can help out.
Will that be all right?
There is a soft knock at the door as Margery’s voice is heard from the other
side.
MARGERY
The feast
is ready and waiting, boys.
TALMAN
We’ll be right there, honey. (Turns to Jon)Still angry?
Jon doesn’t answer him, but there is still a hurtful look on his face.
TALMAN
Try pulling yourself together.
We’ll get through this, okay?
Jon nods absently as Talman opens the door to his study.
EXT. RADLEY OBSERVATORY HILL - NIGHT
It is a clear and starry Wednesday night.
The observatory is located on a hill on the outskirts of
the Radley campus.
Talman walks up the hill. There is no sound except that of dried leaves
and twigs snapping under the professor’s feet.
When he reaches the door of the observatory, he unlocks it and opens the
door, gently tapping his gloved fingers against it.
Before him, in the center of the large, circular room the dark form of a
huge telescope looms, cast into relief by the starlight emanating from the
opened dome above him.
A small arc of artificial light falls from the partially opened door of
the observation room, which Talman enters.
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM
Jon Welk is hunched over a metal file cabinet when he turns to find Talman
standing behind him.
TALMAN
Jon.
Jon turns his back to him.
JON
How was the
party?
TALMAN
Just fine. Cake, champagne,
flowers, confetti, and the most over-the-top card you’ve ever seen.
The whole bit.
Can’t deny I was touched by it.
Left quite a mess for the custodians to clean up, though.
JON
Oh.
TALMAN
Bit of a disappointment not seeing you there, son.
Jon shrugs and sits down in an office chair facing three computer monitors.
JON
All things considered, you can hardly blame me.
TALMAN
Doesn’t matter. The cake was
much too sweet anyway. (Pauses)Can we talk now?
JON
Sure, we’ll talk.
Jon swings his chair around.Talman walks over to the file cabinet and looks
at the color coded files.
TALMAN
That’s where
Victor kept his notes?
JON
Sure, but
you know that.
TALMAN
I’ve been
thinking about you and your mother.
JON
How very touching!
TALMAN
Give me a
break.
JON
(Coldly)
Wish you gave
Dad one.
TALMAN
Okay. I suppose I had that coming.
Anyway, I talked to Nancy about ways I could help you both financially
in Victor’s honor.
JON
Well, well, you never mentioned money before yesterday.
TALMAN
So now I have.
Is that so bad?
JON
And in return?
TALMAN
In return all I ask is that you let me handle this … this misunderstanding
in my own way, Jon. And that you
let me help you out.
JON
So I give you Dad’s notes, is that it?
Or perhaps surrender them would be putting it even better?
He shoots Talman a cold glance.
TALMAN
At least let me have a look at them.
You can hardly expect me to believe you without seeing them for
myself, can you?
JON
Fair enough.
I have a copy in my office.
TALMAN
In your office?
JON
Yes, the original’s still here.
Pretty stupid not to make a copy, considering it’s value.
It is worth quite a lot, wouldn’t you say, Bob?
TALMAN
Of course. (He pauses in search of the right words.)
So, the original and the one copy.
JON
The next question to ask me now is “does anyone else know?”
And it’s got you kinda scared, hasn’t it, Professor? (Laughs)You
know I never thought I’d see you quaking in your boots quite like this. It’s
most amusing.
TALMAN
You seem awfully
sure of yourself, Jon.
JON
Why shouldn’t I be? The way I see the matter is that I currently have the
winning hand. I could ruin you financially if I want, quite apart from the
nasty things I could do to your reputation.
TALMAN
That wouldn’t be very nice, especially after all I’ve tried to do for you
over the years. And will yet be doing for you, remember that. If you ruin
me, you’ll get nothing for your labors.
JON
Yeah, yeah, there’s that. Except
there’s also the satisfaction of seeing Dad getting what he deserved and you
screwed. And that holds a great
deal of satisfaction, too.
TALMAN
Jon-
JON
All right, I didn’t mean to say that.
I’m sorry, but you must know how angry I feel about this.
TALMAN
I’m still
sure we can work it out.
JON
How?
Jon shuts the top drawer of the file cabinet and locks it.
He pockets the key and stands up.Then he leans down to shut
off the laptop computer on his desk.
JON
I’m finished here. You can do
what you like. Admitting what
you did may be best for all concerned and less painful than if I call the
Committee myself and tell them what I know.
TALMAN
You know I
can’t do that.
Jon closes the door to the observation room and walks toward the telescope.
Talman can barely see him in the darkness as Jon turns a switch
that closes the observation dome.
He opens the door of the observatory.
The two men step outside.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE OBSERVATORY
Talman looks up at the stars.
TALMAN
It’s a glorious
night, isn’t it?
After closing the door to the observatory door, Jon moves next to him and
looks up at the velvety night sky.
Even in the dark his expression of pleasure is apparent.
JON
A clear, sparkling night. Yes,
Dad was always happiest on nights like this.
He would sometimes bring Mom here, too.
TALMAN
Victor always was a romantic.
Have you brought Diane here yet?
JON:
(Smiles shyly)
No, not yet. You know, I sometimes
have this strange idea that the stars know what’s going on down here. (Shakes
his head)It sounds really stupid, I know.
That enigmatic twinkle they have.
The light of truth, Dad used to say.
The two men begin walking down the hill.
TALMAN
You know, son, if you want I could pay off that mortgage of yours.
Nancy told me there’s only about 20 grand or so left.
Jon stops abruptly and turns to face Talman.
JON
My God, you never give up, do you?
By now I thought a brilliant guy like you knows what the score
is. I won’t be bribed, Bob,
and that’s the end of it.
TALMAN
So you’re going ahead with it then: ruining me and breaking your mother’s
heart, too.
JON
Damn you! Leave Mom out of it.
Do you think I want to do this?
No. But if you
don’t fess up, what choice do I have?
TALMAN
The choice I gave you, Jon. The only one where we both win.
JON
There’s no sense in talking about this any longer.
I’ve made up my mind.
Jon strides past Talman toward his car.
JON
And thanks for helping me make it up for me!
Talman’s face is suddenly pale and immobile; his body rigid.
He leans against a tree as Jon approaches his car in the moonlight.
Talman can see the path to the car and the faint outline of a grapefruit
size stone by the tree. He picks
up the stone and walks quickly toward Jon and the car.
Jon has opened his car door when he hears Talman rushing toward him.
Just as he turns around, Talman strikes Jon’s head hard with
the rock. Jon falls to the ground.
Talman looks at Jon’s still form for a minute or two.
He feels for a pulse and finds that Jon is still alive.
Gloves still on, Talman finds the car keys on the ground and
opens the passenger side of Jon’s sports coupe.
He lifts Jon into the seat and gets into the driver’s seat. Before starting
the car, he searches Jon’s jacket and pant pockets.
All he finds are the file key, house keys, a wallet with a
credit card, ATM card, a clean handkerchief, a University staff ID, and a
wallet with 50 dollars in cash, as well as a small notebook of astronomical
observations.
After examining the items briefly, he pockets the key to the file cabinet
and stuffs the other items back into Jon’s pockets.
Talman drives to Starlight Ridge, a place notorious for its appeal to daredevil
motorists like Jon.
Talman puts Jon in the driver’s seat.
He pauses as he notes the bruise on Jon’s forehead.
Then he has an idea: he pulls back the drivers seat as far
as it can go and aims Jon’s head against the steering wheel, banging the bruised
area against it as hard as he can.
He positions Jon, whose head is now bleeding, in the driver’s seat, which
he adjusts to a normal driving angle and buckles the man in.
He closes the door and pushes the car the few feet toward
the cliff.
As the car falls down the nearly vertical 200-foot cliff, Talman knows that
Jon Welk is dead.
Panting a little, Talman walks the short quarter mile back to the observatory.
Using the small flashlight that is kept by the door, he returns to the file
cabinet and opens it. He rifles
through the file with gloved hands and soon finds Victor’s notes under “W”
for Welk. He removes from it a
small, faded notebook, returns the folder to the file cabinet and locks it
carefully.
He looks through the other notes that Jon has on his small desk next to
the telescope, but sees that nothing there relates to Talman’s plagiarizing.
He places the key to the file cabinet under Jon’s blotter
on the desk.
INT. SMALL OFFICE - DAY
Assistant Astrophysics Professor NICHOLAS “NICK” POLLINI’s office in the
Radley College Science Building is cluttered.
Nick is standing on a small stool, straining to attach a large
poster of Stephen Hawking to his wall.
LIEUTENANT COLUMBO, gray-haired man in a rumpled raincoat stands in the
doorway with a smile on his face.
Nick steps down and motions to the poster.
NICK
So what do
you think?
COLUMBO
Aw, that looks great. (Shakes his head)
I want to tell you something, Nick, if your aunt could
be here today … well, she’d be proud enough to cry.
COLUMBO pulls a cigar out of his pocket and begins lighting up.
NICK:
Uh, would you mind not smoking here?
There’s a rule about that.
COLUMBO
Oh, I’m sorry. It’s a good cigar,
but it can wait.
Columbo smiles again at Nick, snuffs the match and stuffs the cigar back
in his pocket.
COLUMBO
Anyway, you’re the first one in the family to become a professor and that’s
really something. Your uncle Carl
went to college and I guess he earned a degree in accounting, but that’s different
story. Then there is my great
aunt who dropped out-
NICK
Where is Auntie, anyway? I thought
she was coming today. I really
wanted to show her my office.
Nick standsback and looks over the room appreciative.
COLUMBO
She’s teaching accounting at that adult education school I told you about.
They’ve got their finals next week.
I tried to make her slow down, but once she’s got something
on her mind, there’s no stopping her.
But I’m sure she’ll be over next week after classes end, you can
bet on that, Nick.
Nick smiles.
NICK
That’s fine. So, do does this
meet with my uncle’s approval?
Hmmm?
COLUMBO
It sure does,
Nick. I’m very proud of you.
Nick returns to his desk and sits behind it, trying hard to assume a pose
of elegant assurance.
NICK
Well, it’s not just this office that came with the job. Did you also know
that I am one of Professor Robert Talman’s teaching assistants?
Columbo scratches his head.
Within seconds he assumes an astonished expression.
COLUMBO
Professor Robert Talman? The
Professor Talman who’s on that … that TV show?
Ho!
NICK
The host of “Space Chronicles”, yes.
And the same Professor Talman who just won the Nobel Prize.
COLUMBO
Aaaw, you’re
joshing me.
NICK
No, I’m not.
Honestly, it’s the same guy-
COLUMBO
That’s really something! And
you’ll be teaching for him? For
Professor Talman?
NICK
Sure will. Actually he’s a neat
guy. I should have you meet him
sometime.
COLUMBO
Aw, a man like that is too busy to do that. (Grins)Anyway, that’s amazing.
I’ll have to tell your aunt about that.
NICK
Please do. And tell her she’s
welcome over anytime she wants.
Just have her call me a day beforehand.
Columbo raises one hand in Nick’s direction and moves toward the open doorway.
COLUMBO
That’s great, Nick. But I better
get going. And congratulations.
This is really something, teaching for Professor Talman.
Just wait until I tell her.
Nick crosses one arm over his chest and waves happily.
NICK
Sure, see
you soon again then.
COLUMBO
You can count
on that-
Columbo turns to face a man in his twenties.
WILL
Are you Lieutenant
Columbo?
COLUMBO
Yeah.
WILL
There’s a phone call for you, sir … uh, Lieutenant. (Motions to the hall
phone across from Nick’s office)
COLUMBO
Thanks.
Columbo walks to the phone and picks up the receiver.
COLUMBO
Columbo here. (Listensintently
as he struggles to pull out a small, dog-eared notepad and chewed up pencil
from his pocket with one hand)
Just a sec, sir.
Two miles north from the campus, off exit 7?
Okay. (Draws deep breath) Okay.
Be there in a few minutes.
Sure.
Nick has sided up to him. He
holds a pen up to Columbo.
NICK
You left this.
Columbo hangs up the phone and grins at Nick as he takes the pen.
COLUMBO
You know, sometimes your aunt tells me I would leave my head behind if I
could. Thanks, Nick.
NICK
So what was
that all about?
COLUMBO
Oh, there’s been an accident and I’ve got to check it out. Someone drove
himself off a cliff.
Nick’s eyes widen.
NICK
You’re kidding.
Who was it?
COLUMBO
We don’t even know that yet.
They’re getting a crane out there.
Heard it’s quite a drop.
Nick walks with Columbo toward the elevator, then stops suddenly.
NICK
It wouldn’t
be off Starlight Ridge, would it?
Columbo turns to face him.
COLUMBO
Yeah.
How did you know?
Nick shakes his head.
NICK
Just because so many people have died there before.
God, I hope it isn’t someone we know.
It’s just a couple of miles north of the campus, near the
observatory.
COLUMBO
Oh? You know, the Captain gave
me directions, but maybe you can help me find this place.
After digging in his pocket, Columbo pulls out his notepad again and shows
it to his nephew.
NICK
Sure. You won’t need that.
Let me just grab my jacket.
Nick dashes to his office.
EXT. STARLIGHT RIDGE - DAY
Three police cars are parked near the edge of the Starlight Ridge.
Around it ten policemen and a photographer stand a couple
of feet away from the ledge.
Two policemen in harnesses suspended from a tow truck have already reached
the almost unrecognizable wreck 175 feet below.
Sputtering and shaking, Columbo’s car arrives on the scene.
A very large policeman approaches the Lieutenant’s beaten Peugeot.
He sticks his head into the driver’s window.
POLICEMAN
Hey, this is a restricted area, sir.
Only police allowed.
Columbo looks at him with a confused expression.
COLUMBO
(Holding up his police badge)
Lieutenant Columbo, LAPD. Captain
Jackson told me to report here.
POLICEMAN
Oh, I’m sorry, Lieutenant. Jackson’s
right over there.
COLUMBO
(Turns to
his nephew)
You stay here, Nick.
Columbopushesagainsthisdoorand,
whenitfailstoopen, givesitanother
, harder push.
With a harsh,
metallic screech the door finally gives way.
Nick watches, his
eyeswidening.
Columbo walksuptoJackson, a tall, well-dressed man.
When Columbo glances at the steep drop, he winces and turns
away. He turns his attention to
Jackson.
COLUMBO
That’s
quite a drop, isn’t it?
JACKSON
Yes, quite a drop, Lieutenant.
Glad you could make it over.
Columbo makes another reluctant attempt to look down.
COLUMBO
Yeah, I was visiting my nephew Nick.
Then this came up. (Takes a step back)
JACKSON
Sorry to bother you, Columbo, but Sergeant Madison mentioned you were on
duty, so you were the closest we could find.
COLUMBO
So who’s down
there?
JACKSON
We don’t know that yet, but our boys have reached the driver’s door.
There’s someone in there all right.(Sighs)
You know, I always keep hoping that somehow they’ll be
thrown clear instead of going down with the car like that.
But I guess that’s just a policeman’s fantasy, isn’t it?
COLUMBO
Yeah, a fantasy. No one can
survive a drop like that.
JACKSON
Oh, I see they have the door open now. That’s Miller shaking his head.
Jackson sighs again and turns, expecting to see Columbo next to him, but
notices that he is at least 5 steps behind him.
JACKSON
You afraid
of heights, Columbo?
COLUMBO
(His back to the ledge)
Just a little,
sir.
Jackson walks up to him.
JACKSON
Well, they’ll have whoever it is up in a few minutes.
Then all we have to do is make a positive ID.
COLUMBO
My nephew told me that people have died here before.
Not hard to see with an awful drop like that.
JACKSON
Yes, I understand some of the Radley College fraternities have even used
it for their initiations. Even
though it’s illegal. Crazy kids!
Columbo nods silently.
COLUMBO
Yeah, crazy.
(Walking toward his car)
JACKSON
Where are
you going?
COLUMBO
My nephew’s
in the car.
Jackson pauses and runs to catch up with Columbo.
JACKSON
Your nephew? Hey, I was thinking,
maybe he can help us make a positive ID.
Columbo leans against his open door window.
NICK
Was there someone down there?
Do they know who it is?
COLUMBO
No, but Jackson
here was wondering if-
JACKSON
If you can help you identify him or her?
I mean, if it was someone from Radley.
COLUMBO
Think you
can do that, Nick?
Nick pauses, his face pale.
NICK
I guess I
can.
JACKSON
I think they’re bringing up the … body now.
Miller’s already back.
Jackson walks back to the ledge as a stretcher is being heaved up the edge
and gently placed a few feet away on a small tuft of grass.
Columbo and Nick WALK toward the small group of policemen and rescuers surrounding
the stretcher covered with a blue, plastic sheet.
COLUMBO
You okay,
Nick?
MILLER
Actually, sir, the face is in pretty good shape.
Just some bruises.
Nick has crossed both arms across his chest as he walks up to the bier.
NICK
Yeah, I’ll
be okay.
JACKSON
Ready?
NICK
Yes.
Miller slowly raises one edge of the blue sheet.
He uncovers the face of a thirty-something man with curly
brown hair. Apart from a large
bruise on his forehead and some small cuts on the face, the face is easily
recognizable.
Nick looks at the man and winces.
He turns his head away.
JACKSON
Know who it
is?
NICK
Yeah. It’s Jon Welk.
He is … was an astronomy professor at Radley.
We used to have lunch together.
Without another word, Nick turns his back to the scene and begins walking
off. Columbo catches up to him.
COLUMBO
I’m sorry about that, Nick.
Didn’t know this man was a friend of yours.
Nick shrugs absently.
NICK
Well, I don’t know if I could say that.
I was just getting to know him.
But Jon is, I mean, was a good guy.
God, I can’t believe this!
Nick leans against Columbo’s car and pulls one hand through his hair.
NICK
I mean, the guy was speed freak, a thrill chaser, if you know what I mean.
Still, I thought he had started taking better care of himself
by now. At least since last month.
COLUMBO
What happened
to him last month?
NICK
Jon rammed his car against a tree just nearby … actually just a few feet
from here. And he was real drunk,
too. It was a good thing someone
bailed him out or his Mom would have read him the riot act.
Guess you can’t blame the guy for going a little crazy though.
In his place I might have done the same.
COLUMBO
Why?
NICK
Jon’s father died of a heart attack a little over a month ago.
I know how hard it was for him and his mother. He talked about
it with me over lunch just a few weeks ago.
He and his father were very close.
COLUMBO
Sounds like it was pretty rough.
(Pulls out a cigar from inside his coat pocket)
So, who bailed him out?
You?
NICK
No. Actually it was Professor
Talman who bailed him out.
Columbo lights his cigar thoughtfully and takes a puff. His eyes widen.
COLUMBO
Professor Talman? (Smoothes
his hand over the back of his head)
Isn’t that something!
NICK
I told you he was a nice guy.
Actually, the Talmans don’t have any children of their own, so Talman was
almost like a second father to Jon.
He and Jon’s father had been friends and science partners since
their graduate school days. Guess
it must have been hard for Talman too when Victor Welk died.
COLUMBO
Yeah, I suppose
so.
Jackson approaches Columbo’s car.
He gives Nick a look of sympathy.
JACKSON
Sorry about
putting you through that, Mr.-
NICK
Pollini, sir.
With proud smile, Columbo looks at Jackson.
COLUMBO
That’s Professor
Pollini!
JACKSON
(Unenthusiastically)
Ah, I see, Professor Pollini then.
Anyway, we’re done here for now.
Don’t expect we’ll need you here again, Columbo.
Looks like nothing but an accident, but we’ll leave the rest
up to our pathologist, of course.
Columbo raises his hand.
COLUMBO
Of course.
Let’s go, Nick.
After strugglingwith the door for a few seconds Columbo and Nick get in
the car and drive off.
INT. RADLEY COLLEGE SCIENCE BUILDING - DAY
Nick and Columbo walk into Dean Stanton’s office which is still being cleaned
by the custodial staff.
INT. DEAN STANTON’S OFFICE
Two empty champagne bottles and small wastepaper basket overflowing with
dirty paper plates, napkins and forks sit on a table in the middle of the
Dean’s reception area.
Nick turns to Stanton’s secretary.
NICK
Is Professor
Stanton in?
SECRETARY
No, I’m afraid
he left for the day.
NICK
Oh.
Well, I guess I’ll catch him tomorrow.
Columbo has walked over to the champagne bottles.
COLUMBO
Champagne? Looks like the Dean
had a party here. (He lifts one
of the dirty plates and smells it.)
And chocolate cake, too.
Smells good. Who’s birthday was it?
NICK
Oh, that was just the party we had for Professor Talman yesterday.
COLUMBO
For Professor
Talman?
NICK
Yeah, to celebrate,
you know …
COLUMBO
Aw, I know now. It was for winning
the Nobel Prize. That must really
have been something, winning a prize like that.
You know, that’s just about the finest award anyone can win.
NICK
Yes, yes it is, Uncle. What
do you say we return to my office now?
Nick has left the office with Columbo in tow, but the Lieutenant still has
his eyes on the large champagne bottles on the table.
He bumps into Talman just as the professor enters Stanton’s office.
COLUMBO:
Oh, I’m so sorry, sir- (A smile
of recognition lights up his face.)
Professor Talman!
TALMAN
That’s quite all right. (Calls out to Nick unlocking his office door)
Nicholas?
What is this I heard about an accident on Starlight Ridge?
(Walks up to Nick)
Have you heard anything?
Nick pulls one hand through his hair and looks at Talman reluctantly.
Columbo stands by, eyeing Talman with a mixture of awe and
regret.
NICK
Oh, Professor Talman. Yes, I
was just down there. (Pauses and steps inside, Columbo and Talman closely
behind him.)
TALMAN
And?
NICK
Perhaps you
had better sit down, sir.
TALMAN
Tell me, please.
Talman sits down in a chair in front of Nick’s desk just where Columbo is
standing. Columbo leans down and
whispers gently.
COLUMBO
Oh, I’m afraid
it’s bad news, sir. Very bad.
Talman looks at the cop as if he had just materialized from nowhere.
TALMAN
Who the Dickens
are you?
NICK
Oh, I’m sorry, Professor, this is my uncle, Lieutenant Columbo.
COLUMBO
(Grinning)
A real pleasure
to meet you, sir.
Talman nods dismissively and returns his attention to Nick.
NICK
(Softly)
It was Jon Welk.
Talman opens his mouth as if to speak, but it takes several seconds before
he does.
TALMAN
Jon Welk? (Shakes his head)
No. It can’t
be-
NICK
(Nods and closes his eyes) I’m
afraid it is. I just identified
him myself. He’s … Jon is dead.
TALMAN
Oh, my God! (He rubs his forehead)
Unbelievable-
COLUMBO
I’m so sorry.
TALMAN
(Looks up at Columbo)
Thank you. And I am relieved
to see that Nicholas at least has his uncle here for moral support.
At a time like this.
My God! You have
to excuse me, Mr. Columbo. The
shock of this is still sinking in.
Talman rubs the corners of his eyes.
COLUMBO
Oh, I quite understand. Nick
told me that you and Professor Welk were very close.
TALMAN
Jon was like a son to me … and now, oh, the waste of it all!
Talman shoots up from his chair and paces up to Nick who is quietly staring
into space.
TALMAN
If he had only listened to us, Nicholas, instead of … well, it hardly matters
anymore, does it? (Hits his hand
against the desk)
Poor Nancy, this might destroy her.
NICK
I still can hardly believe it.
What could have happened?
Columbo sides up to Jon and presses his hand gently against his back.
COLUMBO
Wish I knew, Nick. Sometimes
people are just careless, make a mistake and, well, these things unfortunately
happen.
NICK
(Nods)
Still, I wish I could have talked to him, tried to do or say something to
him that may have made him not go near there yesterday, but I never even saw
him.
Columbo stiffens.
COLUMBO
You
never saw him yesterday?
NICK
No, he was out all day. God
only knows what he was up to.
COLUMBO
But
what about that party you had?
NICK
(Looking down at his hands)
He never showed up for it.
Columbo casts an inquiring glance at Talman.
COLUMBO
Never showed up for your party, Professor … that is surprising.
TALMAN
(Shrugs)
Well, I do have to admit that I was a little disappointed about that.
But I also know that Jon was at times a little … well, erratic.
Like many brilliant minds, he had his moods.
But just the day before he had stopped by my house to congratulate
me personally, and that was quite enough for me.
COLUMBO
So it didn’t bother you all that much?
And he never told you why he couldn’t make the party?
TALMAN
To tell you the truth, no, it didn’t bother very much.
And maybe I should let you in on another little secret.
Jon Welk was at heart a very shy man, who avoided parties
like the plague.
Nick looks at Talman, his brow furrowed.
COLUMBO
(Looking at Nick)
So Mr. Welk
never told you either?
Nick shakes his head, his eyes on the floor.
Columbo scratches his hair.
COLUMBO
Well, I guess there must have been some reason.
TALMAN
Undoubtedly. But what does it
matter now? It was a terrible,
tragic accident. (Winces) What Jon was doing before it happened can hardly
have any bearing on it, except insofar as it might have adversely affected
his judgment and with disastrous results.
Talman shakes his headslowly.
COLUMBO
You’re probably right, sir.
Columbo looks at Talmanfora moment
and then returns his attentionto Nick who is sitting behind his desk with
adazed expression. He presses his
hand against his nephew’s shoulder .
COLUMBO
I’m afraid
I’ve got to go now, Nick.
Nick gives him a sad smile.
NICK
Of course. I’m sorry that your
first visit here had to end like this.
COLUMBO
Yeah, it’s sad all right. Well,
goodbye, Nick … and you, too, Professor Talman.
Talman glances at him.
TALMAN
Good of you
to call on us, Mr. Columbo.
INT. JON WELK’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Talman opens Jon Welk’s office door and steps inside.
With gloved hands he begins rifling through big piles of papers
on the desk. From there he walks
over to a large file cabinet and digs though the messy looking folders.
INTERCUT TALMAN PULLING OPEN FILE DRAWERS, RIFLING THROUGH PILES OF PAPER
AND PULLING BOOKS OFF THE SHELVES.
Talman sighs with frustration, closes the file cabinet, returns the books
to the shelves and exits the office as carefully and quietly as he entered
it.
INT. TALMAN’S OFFICE - DAY
Talman is sitting at his desk writing a letter when Columbo sticks his head
through the door.
Columbo pauses and blushes as he recognizes the familiar face of the distinguished-looking
academic. He steps into the office
quietly.
Talman is so engrossed in his letter that he doesn’t even notice Columbo.
COLUMBO
Professor
Talman?
Startled, Talman looks up at Columbo and shoots him an angry look.
COLUMBO
I’m sorry, sir, barging in like this.
They told me your secretary was having lunch and that it was okay
to come in. Maybe I should have
knocked-
TALMAN
(Takes a deep breath and exhales demonstratively)
Indeed you should have.
COLUMBO
Anyway, I’m just a cop. Lieutenant
Columbo, LAPD. You might remember
me, I’m Professor Pollini’s uncle.
We met yesterday. Sorry to be
disturbing you like this.
Talman’s eyes light up with recognition and his face softens.
TALMAN
Oh yes, Lieutenant Columbo.
How do you do? (Shakes his hand
absently)
Diane told me you wanted to see me.
Well, well, please have a seat.
Right in that chair there, yes, that’s right.
Columbo sits down in a slightly worn leather armchair.
TALMAN
I must admit, Lieutenant, that when Nicholas told me you are a Lieutenant
I assumed you were a retired army officer.
I never realized you were a policeman.
COLUMBO
Aw, people often make that mistake, sir.
You should hear some of the guesses they come up with.
Oh, they’re dillies, I can tell you that.
I could never figure out why no one guesses I’m a cop.
Guess people think every cop must look like Dick Tracy or
those guys on NYPD Blue or something
TALMAN
(Looks at Columbo with poorly disguised disbelief)
I can quite imagine.
But now then, how can I help you?
I am sure you must realize that we are still in shock over
what happened to Jon Welk.
COLUMBO
(Gazing admiringly
at the Professor)
Oh, yes, sir, I can imagine that.
Talman is stuffing his pipe when he notices Columbo’s adoring expression.
TALMAN
Something the matter, Lieutenant?
Do you mind if I light up?
COLUMBO
Aw, no, I don’t mind at all.
No, was just thinking- No, it’s
nothing. I’m sure you’ve heard
it all before.
TALMAN
Heard what?
COLUMBO
Well, sir, it’s just that Mrs. Columbo and I have been watching your show
for several years now, well, especially my wife.
She even wanted to be an astronomer once.
Before that, she wanted to be a bowling champion.
Anyway, we really enjoy your show, Professor.
And now that you’re winning that prize.
Well, sir, that’s pretty impressive.
TALMAN
(Smiles dryly)
The Nobel Prize?
Well, I can’t lie about that.
I am very proud and happy to be selected, especially as I hadn’t
even expected it at the time.
Thank you for your appreciation, too; the television show took a lot of work.
COLUMBO
Oh, I can just imagine that it did.
My wife was even talking about buying the whole series on tape
the other day. Of course, it’s
one hundred and fifty dollars and I told her that was pretty steep, so I was
thinking maybe we could borrow them from the library instead-
TALMAN
I’m really very flattered that you and your wife so appreciate my show,
Lieutenant, but that’s hardly why you came to see me.
Was it?
COLUMBO
Oh no, sir. To tell you the
truth, I was … well, I kind of wanted to talk to you in person.
I mean, it’s not every day you meet someone who is a Nobel
prize lor … eh, what’s that called now?
(Scratches his head)
Lori, lauri-
TALMAN
Laureate?
COLUMBO
Yeah, that’s
the word my wife was using.
TALMAN
Well, I will not be a Nobel Laureate until I actually receive that award,
you know.
COLUMBO
Oh, I know that, sir. But, in
fact, there was another reason I thought I’d drop by.
I wanted to talk to you about Professor Welk.
Talman lightshis pipe takes a puff from it.
I
TALMAN
I see. Now what can I tell you?
Jon was like a son to me.
You see, my wife and I never had children of our own, and I suppose
Jon filled that function in a way.
And that makes it so hard … to even accept that he is gone now.
COLUMBO
I can well understand that, sir.
It must have been a terrible shock for you.
TALMAN
Yes, a shock, Lieutenant, but I have to admit, well-
COLUMBO
What?
TALMAN
Well, that is wasn’t completely unexpected.
You see, Jon had one, or perhaps I should say two, small weaknesses:
alcohol and fast cars. And I hardly
have to tell a policeman that the two don’t mix.
Talman rises from his seat and begins pacing the office.
TALMAN
As a matter of fact, and I don’t know if I even should mention this, but
last month Jon had a close call in that very same area, near the observatory.
COLUMBO
A close call?
TALMAN
Jon slammed into a tree nearby.
Fortunately he wasn’t driving fast and he wasn’t injured badly, but he was
arrested for it. And, as much
as I hate to say it, his blood alcohol level was well above the legal limit.
COLUMBO
You were there, sir! I mean,
you were the one who bailed Professor Welk out that day.
That’s what Nick told me.
TALMAN
Yes, that is true. Anything
else, Lieutenant?
COLUMBO
Well, to tell you the truth we’re still trying to figure out what Mr. Welk
was doing and where he was just before he died.
TALMAN
Wish I could help you there, but I really have no idea.
Columbo scratches his head.
COLUMBO
Gee … that’s a shame. I thought
you might have known. It could
have been something important.
TALMAN
Important? Why?
Jon may just have been driving around, buying groceries, or
maybe just getting ready for a date with Miss Martin, before … it happened.
COLUMBO
Getting ready
for a date, sir?
TALMAN
Yes, my secretary, Diane, and Jon had been seeing each other these past
few weeks. It would hardly be
surprising, would it?
COLUMBO
You really think so, Professor?
I mean, Mr. Welk would have missed your party to go out with Miss Martin?
TALMAN
Why not? I believe I already
told you how averse he was to parties in general.
COLUMBO
Yes, I guess
you did.
TALMAN
(Gives Columbo a bright smile)
Now, doesn’t that explain some of the perplexities you have been wrestling
with?
COLUMBO
Well, yes, I guess it does.
TALMAN
Good! Well, as I do have a full
schedule today, Lieutenant … er Columbo, is there anything else you wish to
discuss with me? And if I may
be so bold to ask-
Talman returns to his chair behind the desk and picks up his pen.
TALMAN
Why is the police involved in this matter?
It was a tragic accident, was it not?
COLUMBO
Well, sir, to tell you the truth … we’re not entirely sure about that.
Although the fact that Mr. Welk had a history of drunk driving
does make it seem like an accident.
Still, we have to tie together all loose ends, you understand.
TALMAN
What loose
ends?
COLUMBO
Oh, it’s probably nothing, but the medical examiner’s report says that Mr.
Welk had a bruise on his forehead.
TALMAN
The man was in an automobile accident.
What is so strange about that?
COLUMBO
The strange thing is that the way Mr. Welk was buckled up with his seat
pushed back, you see … there is no way he could have hit his head against
that steering wheel. At least
that’s what the medical examiner says. (Shrugs) It’s just a little thing,
sir. We cops just want to tie
everything together. It’s probably
nothing.
Talman leans back in his chair.
TALMAN
That is interesting. Could Jon
have hit his head against something else besides the steering wheel?
COLUMBO
Yeah, that could be possible, except for the fact that the shape of the
bruise fits the ridges of the steering wheel exactly. (Rubs his neck)So you
see our problem? How and when
did he get that bruise?
TALMAN
(Nods slowly)
I think so.
But there must be an answer somewhere.
All you have to do is find it.
Has it ever occurred to you, for instance, that Jon may have bumped
his head on the wheel beforehand?
COLUMBO
Before he had the accident, sir?
Well, yes I guess that is a possibility.
TALMAN
(Rises from his desk)
Well, much as I hate cutting our fascinating discussion short, there are
exams I have to grade and a lecture I will be delivering in about an hour
and a half, so if there is nothing else-
COLUMBO
Oh, of course, Professor, I’ve taken up enough of your time already.
Columbo raiseshis hand in a wave and opens the office door
.
TALMAN
And do let me know if you learn anything else about Jon or the accident,
will you?
COLUMBO
I’ll definitely
let you know.
Talman watches the door close and sighs.
INT. NANCY WELK’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Columbo sits on a green velveteen couch in A living room full of Victorian
knickknacks and bouquets of flowers.
NANCY WELK sits opposite him in an armchair, her eyes red-rimmed and her
face puffy from crying. Her hand
shakes as she pours tea from an antique silver teapot into Columbo’s cup
.
COLUMBO
Let me pour
that, Ma’am.
Columbo rises from the softly worn couch with some difficulty and gently
takes hold of the teapot handle.
He pours tea into Nancy’s cup first and then into his own.
As he pours, Columbo sneezes.
Nancy winces as tea splashes onto the fine linen tablecloth, but she says
nothing.
NANCY
(Lips trembling)
Thank you … Lieutenant. I’m
really not myself these days.
COLUMBO
Oh, that’s quite understandable.
And you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.
Columbo returns the teapot to the table, sneezes again and pulls a tissue
from his pocket.
COLUMBO
Sorry, Ma’am, it always takes allergy pills a while to work for me.
NANCY
(Trying to
smile)
You are very
kind. I just miss Jon so much.
Nancy holds a delicate lace-handkerchief to her eyes and begins sobbing,
but quickly stops and takes a deep breath, her slender frame straightening
under the black silk of her dress.
NANCY
But I know I must be strong for Jon’s sake-
COLUMBO
Considering all you’ve gone through, Mrs. Welk, nobody would blame you for
crying. You should have seen my
cousin Doris last year after her Freddie died.
Boy, she was crying every day for a week.
You couldn’t get her to stop, although I suppose she did long
enough to eat, but, anyway, no one blamed her for carrying on like that.
Columbo sneezes.
COLUMBO
You know, those head doctors always say it’s a natural process and I believe
they’re right about that.(Takes a loud sip from the cup)
Nancy picks up her cup, her full attention on the cop’s story
NANCY:
How sad. Yes, I know what it’s
like to lose a husband too.
Columbo looks at her with a confused expression.
COLUMBO
Husband? No, Freddie was her
Cocker Spaniel. Dom’s her husband.
Nancy Welk nearly drops her cup in her lap.
COLUMBO
Anyway, are you sure you want to go on?
I could always come back.
NANCY
No really, Lieutenant, I’m fine now.
You wanted to ask me some questions about … Jon?
COLUMBO
Yes, Ma’am. I understand that
his father’s death - and I’m so sorry to bring this up like this - his father’s
death was very hard on him.
NANCY
It was very hard on both of us.
Victor was a wonderful, talented man.
He was even a close friend of Robert Talman.
I’m sure you’ve heard of him?
COLUMBO
Yes, yes, I have. Mrs. Columbo
and I often watch that TV show of his-
NANCY
“The Space Chronicles”. Victor
even helped him come up with the idea for that show, did you know?
COLUMBO
Did he really? Your husband
must have been an amazing man, Mrs. Welk.
NANCY
Oh, he was. But, unlike Bob,
Victor was content to stay in his ivory tower and away from publicity.
Jon and I often tried to get him to publish more of his ideas.
He was always so modest, so self-effacing. (Smiles and returns
thecuptothe table)
I always used to criticize Victor for keeping his light
under a bushel.
COLUMBO
I’m sorry. Are you okay?
Nancy nods and looks at Columbo.
COLUMBO
I did want to ask you, Ma’am, about Jon when you saw him last.
You said he was in mourning with his father being gone and
all.
NANCY
He was sad,
but … well, that’s odd really.
COLUMBO
Odd?
NANCY
Jon was sad, of course, but it seemed that since he and Diane had begun
seeing each other, he was more like himself at first.
He even went back to teaching last week.
But then later he seemed so, so …
COLUMBO
So … what, Ma’am?
NANCY
I guess you could say preoccupied.
I even asked Jon about it last week but he wouldn’t tell me what
was on his mind.
COLUMBO
Could you tell me exactly when he began seeming preoccupied?
Nancy rubs her chin as her smooth brow furrows.
NANCY
What is it today? Saturday,
isn’t it? Yes, I remember now.
It was about five days ago that I first noticed how Jon was
in a bad mood. Even snapped at me and that’s not like him at all.
Columbo leans back into the couch and tips his head as his finger fiddles
with one ear.
COLUMBO
What do you
think it could have been?
NANCY
I have no idea really. I guess
I assumed it he may have had a lover’s quarrel with his girlfriend and that
it would blow over eventually.
COLUMBO
A lover’s quarrel. (Rubs his lips) Yeah, I guess that could have happened.
Can you think of anyone else that he might have talked
to or anything he might have done that could have made him feel depressed?
Nancy straightens herself and looks sharply at Columbo.
NANCY
Lieutenant Columbo, I hope you’re not implying that Jon committed suicide?
If you are, I assure you, you are sadly mistaken.
Columbo raises one hand.
COLUMBO
Aw, I didn’t mean that, Ma’am.
I’m just asking questions, that’s all.
NANCY
And since it’s an accident, what difference would it make now anyway?
COLUMBO
We just want to tie up the loose ends.
Make sure everything fits together.
NANCY
Implying that
something doesn’t?
COLUMBO
Well, to tell you the truth, there are a few things.
For one thing, there’s the medical examiner’s report.
Mr. Welk had a strange bruise on his head that they can’t
account for.
Tears well up in Nancy’s eyes.
NANCY
A bruise?
What is so strange about that?
COLUMBO
You see, the bruise was made when Mr. Welk’s head hit the steering wheel,
that’s clear from the examination.
But the way he buckled himself up and had pushed his seat back- (Scratches
his head) Buckled in like that,
there’s just no way his head could have even touched the wheel on impact the
way it did. You see my problem
here? So how did he get that bruise?
(Shrugs)
Nancy’s eyes widen.
NANCY
Buckled in,
you say?
COLUMBO
Yeah, buckled
in.
She pauses.
NANCY
It’s just that … that’s the first time I ever heard of Jon using a seat
belt. (Eyes tearing up) What
a cruel irony if that’s so.
Columbo leans forward.
COLUMBO
You mean to say that your son didn’t wear seat belts?
NANCY
It was always a sore point with me; we even had our spats over Jon’s carelessness.
And to think that the one time in his life he’s take my advice
… and this happens! (Looks at him fiercely)Lieutenant, I wish to God you hadn’t
even mentioned that now.
Nancy rises from the couch and paces to the window, her back to Columbo.
COLUMBO
I’m sorry,
Ma’am.
NANCY
No, I should be the one to apologize.
It’s just that … I don’t think I want to talk about it anymore,
that’s all.
COLUMBO
Oh, that’s all right. I’ve taken
up enough of your time already, Mrs. Welk.
NANCY
I do have to say you are a very perceptive man, Lieutenant.
She turns to face him and gives Columbo a dazzling smile, although her cheeks
are still damp with tears.
COLUMBO
Aw, I don’t know about that.
It still doesn’t make sense.
Unless-
Columbo stops himself abruptly and hoists himself up from the couch.
He walks up to Nancy and grips her hand, cradling it between
his.
COLUMBO
Anyway,I want to thank you again, Ma’am, for being so gracious, for the
tea, the medicine and everything.
NANCY
Oh, it’s nothing really. (Smiles)
Looks like that antihistamine finally kicked in, Lieutenant.
COLUMBO
Well, I’ll be a son of a gun.
I haven’t sneezed at all! You’re
right.
Nancy Welk walks Columbo to the door. She opens it and smiles graciously
as Columbo steps out.
NANCY
Thank you, Lieutenant Columbo, for caring about my son.
It means a great deal to see that he is more than just a police
statistic.
COLUMBO
Of course.
Thank you Ma’am.
Nancy has almost closed the door when Columbo abruptly turns about and calls
out to her.
COLUMBO
Oh, and one
more thing, Ma’am-
NANCY
Yes?
COLUMBO
I meant to ask you, was there any special activity or person your son was
involved with just before his mood changed?
NANCY
No, nothing special I can think of.
He was grading some exams I think, and, oh yes, he had finally
begun going through Victor’s belongings.
COLUMBO
Clothes, shoes,
that sort of stuff?
NANCY
Well, no, that is something I went through a couple of weeks ago.
Jon had started going through Victor’s paperwork and research
files. It’s a huge task that really
required the expertise of another scientist, not an English teacher like
myself.
COLUMBO
I see.
He crosses one arm over his chest and ponders.
NANCY
Is that all? It is getting pretty
cold standing with the door open like this.
COLUMBO
Oh, I’m sorry, Ma’am! No, that’s
quite okay. I’ll be off now.
Thank you!
He turns and waves at her.
NANCY
Bye, Lieutenant! I’ll call you
if I think of anything else.
Columbo gives a final wave and walks off, his cigar already lit, a smile
on his face.
EXT. RADLEY COLLEGE OBSERVATORY
Columbo is ogling the large telescope in the middle of the softly illuminated
chamber.
COLUMBO
Isn’t this amazing. To think
you can see the rings of Saturn and the moons of Jupiter with this here contraption.
WILL
Oh, a lot more than that. You
can even see a few distant galaxies and nebulae with it.
COLUMBO
Really?
Isn’t that something.
Nick smiles at Will as he motions Columbo to enter the observation room
just to the right of the telescope.
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM
The room is small but has four computer monitors, four office chairs and
posters of galaxies and star clusters lining the walls.
A bowl of candy sits between two of the monitors.
NICK
That’s my
uncle, a very curious man.
Will smiles.
COLUMBO
Oh, yes, I won’t argue with that, Nick, although some people would say I’m
just plain nosy, but that’s another story-
He turns around and appraises his surroundings.
COLUMBO
So, what is
this, some kind of office?
NICK
This is the telescope’s control room.
Images from the telescope are transmitted to the computer monitors.
(Motions to the computers)
Columbo looks confused.
COLUMBO
Oh, I thought you just look through the telescope.
WILL
Oh no, Lieutenant. More powerful
optical telescopes such as ours use computers.
COLUMBO
I’ll be a son of a gun. So this
is where you tell it what to do.
WILL
More or less.
COLUMBO
(Grins)
All these
computers. Taking over the world.
Nick laughs. Columbo turns to
face the two young men.
COLUMBO
Anyway, guys, I wanted to ask you about the day that Professor Welk died.
WILL
Wednesday?
COLUMBO
Yeah, Wednesday. I understand
there was some kind of party for Professor Talman in the Dean’s office that
day.
NICK
That’s right. It was in Dean
Stanton’s office.
COLUMBO
Who came to
the party?
NICK
Oh, let me see - Will here, Dean Stanton, Miss Martin, Professors Carlton,
Chandra, Lindquist, and-
WILL
Mrs. Welk, Mrs. Talman, of course, and Diane Wright, the Dean’s secretary,
and … Lisa Jarvik and David Hegarty, two graduate students.
COLUMBO
I see. Would both of you say
that everyone who was expected to be there came to the party?
Everyone who knew Professor Talman well?
Will and Nick look at each other hesitantly.
NICK
Well, basically.
Except Jon Welk.
COLUMBO
Do you know
of any reason he couldn’t come?
Will shrugs.
NICK
To tell you the truth, I don’t recall him ever giving a reason.
I just supposed something came up and he couldn’t make it.
I’m sure he would have come if he could.
COLUMBO
Would have come … Were you at all surprised that Professor Welk wasn’t there?
WILL
Yeah, I sure
was.
COLUMBO
That’s interesting. I understood
that Professor Talman and Welk were very good friends.
NICK
Well, they were. Jon had even
told me once that Talman was like a second father to him.
Columbo sits down heavily on one of the worn leather office chairs.
COLUMBO
So what do
you think happened here, guys?
NICK
I’m not sure what you’re getting at-
Columbo spreads his arms and shrugs.
COLUMBO
Well, if these two men were as close as people say and Dr. Welk was expected
to come to the party, then something must have happened to keep him from coming.
NICK
I guess so.
COLUMBO
Was there
an argument?
Nick and Will shake their heads.
NICK
Not that I know of, but I doubt someone like Talman would argue with anyone
publicly.
WILL
(Laughs)
Hardly!
COLUMBO
(Grinning)
No, no, I can’t quite picture that either.
Could there have been any other reason?
NICK
Unless something came up at the last minute.
A meeting, maybe.
COLUMBO
No, I don’t think so. I already
checked with the department secretary and all she had scheduled for Dr. Welk
that day was the party.
NICK
Really?
COLUMBO
Oh, Mrs. Devlin, she’s a very thorough lady.
She keeps up with everyone’s schedule.
And she told me something else, too.
Mr. Welk had asked her to remind him about the party just
a couple of days before he died, so you see my problem?
Just what happened that made him not go to the party, an important
celebration that you yourselves told me you expected him to come to?
And if, as you say, Professor Welk was feeling sick or something,
then why didn’t he say something just before the party?
NICK
It’s a little
strange, I agree.
Will nods.
COLUMBO
Something
just doesn’t add up, guys.
NICK
Well, if that’s true, how can we help you, uncle?
Columbo looks at him intently as he rubs his chin.
COLUMBO
Maybe you can help me figure out what Professor Welk was doing Wednesday
evening before he died. I already
checked with Miss Martin and he wasn’t with her.
Will and Nick glance at each other and give Columbo a puzzled look.
NICK
Where Jon was? He was here.
I thought you knew-
Columbo’s eyes widen.
COLUMBO
Here at the
observatory? Are you sure?
NICK
Of course. Jon would always
do down there on clear Wednesday nights.
COLUMBO
Did he tell
you he was going?
NICK
He didn’t
have to.
WILL
It’s all on our computers, Lieutenant.
Jon sent us all copies of his observations for the evenings he
was here. I think this week it
was the transit of Venus, and last week Jupiter’s moons.
Here, have a look.
He used them to create these neat graphics for us to use as screen savers.
Will sits down in front of the laptop and types in several commands.
WILL
See, the image is in the e-mail “send” file.
Copies of this report sent to Stanton, Nick and the whole
faculty. And there’s the date:
Wednesday the twenty-second.
Columbo leans down to look at the monitor.
COLUMBO
I see. Isn’t that remarkable?
(Looking intently at the list of names on the monitor)
He even sent one to himself, or is that to his mother?
Why would Professor Welk do that if he has the report here
already?
NICK
(Leaning over
the laptop)
He always did that. The more
copies, the less chance of them getting lost.
Jon would always back up everything electronically.
All of us do.
It’s a good habit to have.
COLUMBO
You mean saving them inside the computer?
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Columbo stands up, scratching his head.
COLUMBO
Hmmm … it makes me wonder though, guys.
Do you think there is any way I can have a look at Professor Welk’s
own computer?
WILL
You mean the
one he kept in his office?
COLUMBO
Yeah, I guess
so.
NICK
I don’t see why not. If Stanton
says it’s okay. (Smiles)
Do you think he might have left a clue or something on
his computer?
For several seconds Columbo looks down at the laptop without saying a word.
Then he looks up at the two young men with a twinkle in his
eye.
COLUMBO
Well, you
never know, guys.
INT. JON WELK’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Columbo sits in front of Jon’s computer, his head resting on one hand, his
jacket and coat draped over the chair.
He is playing a computer game with vivid, exploding images. His
hand moves the mouse in frustrated, jerky motions.
COLUMBO
(Mumbling)
I’ll be damned
if I ever get this thing -
A ratata SOUNDS as a large fireball obliterates the images on the screen.
CUT TO DOOR KNOB TURNING AND TALMAN OPENING THE DOOR.
COLUMBO
(Throwing his hands up)
That’s it, that’s all for me.
I’ve had it with this stuff!
Seeing Columbo, Talman is about to close the door and leave.
COLUMBO
(Turning to the door)
Professor
Talman? Is that you?
Talman pauses and smiles gallantly at the cop.
TALMAN
Yes, it is, Lieutenant. I didn’t
know you
were here-
Columbo returns his attention to the monitor.
TALMAN
I didn’t know you were fond of computer games either.
COLUMBO
(Distractedly)
Uh, I’m not really, sir. I was
just fooling around.
Sighing, Columbo slaps the edge of the desk with one hand and straightens
himself in the chair. He scratches
his hair and turns to face Talman who is laughing.
COLUMBO
Ah, the hell
with it!
Talman continues to laugh.
TALMAN
You are a man ever full of surprises, Lieutenant.
I never had you pegged as a computer aficionado.
COLUMBO
Oh, I’m not, not at all, sir, believe me!
Fact is if Nick hadn’t shown me how to operate this here
thing, I wouldn’t even had a clue how to turn it on.
Talman edges toward Columbo, the smile dying on his face.
TALMAN
Of course, it does baffle me a bit why you should pick Jon Welk’s pc in
particular on which to practice your computer skills.
COLUMBO
Well, Professor,
I still have to do my job.
TALMAN
Meaning investigating Jon’s murder.
You still think it’s murder then?
COLUMBO
I do.
TALMAN
I see. Well, wish I could help
you, but I just can’t think of anyone with a motive.
Unless it was a deranged person who killed at random.
