10 X 21: SYNTHESIS
Category: Mythology
Spoilers: John Doe, Hellbound, William, The Truth, Resurrection/Reclamation, 1-1-03
Rating:
R for language

E-mail : rossprag@fgi.net

Humanity's secret is unlocked, and with it, the possible salvation of mankind...


Palm Shores Sheraton

Palm Beach , Fla.

6:35 p.m.

“‘…but he must’ve been hard of hearing, ‘cause I wound up with a 12-inch pianist,’” Jack Bales concluded with a flourish. “Then I go off, you know, on listening, you know, the importance of listening when you’re closing the sale. Know your customer, blah, blah, blah, all that happy bullshit. So? What d’you think?”

Barry Tremont’s own listening equipment had shut down right before his colleague’s punchline, as he discovered a spot of the keynote luncheon’s hollandaise sauce on the lapel of his cobalt blue Millennium 3 realtor’s blazer. The Southwest regional manager resisted the urge to scratch at the now-crusty stain, and laughed absently at the payoff he hadn’t heard.

“Jesus, Jack,” he then chuckled worriedly. “You think, this day and age, you wanna tell a penis joke, all the ladies in the crowd? Especially with Marci Glickman getting the Most Valuable Promoter plaque?”

Jack, M3 senior VP for marketing, sucked at his prominent white teeth in annoyance. “No, see, that’s the beauty. I don’t say penis anywhere in there. The guy wanted a 12-inch penis, but the leprechaun gave him a pianist instead, get it? Everybody knows what you said, but nobody can get their Victoria ’s Secrets in a knot. See?”
“I don’t know, Jack,” Barry drawled, glancing around the hotel corridor outside the crowded ballroom. “I don’t think you can even suggest a penis any more. I think they still call that harassment.”

“I have never once touched any of these broads, even though if you ever saw the rack on Marcie—” Barry winced, and Jack stopped dead, a look of pure disgust on his deeply tanned features. “OK, OK, no dick humor, all right? Jesus, the pussies have truly come to rule this planet. I got a back-up icebreaker, anyway, so fuck ‘em.”

The thought of his colleague’s potential icebreaker brought chills to Barry, and he glanced quickly at his watch. “Hey, man, we’ve only got about 20 minutes, so I better get out there. Don’t forget you have to intro Perry, OK?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Jack waved as he glanced distractedly at the nearby bar set, which, of course was tuned to the war. “Just go on in – I gotta practice something I can tell these pussies that won’t get my ass sued by the ACLU or the feminazis.”

Apartment of Monica Reyes

Washington , D.C.

6:35 p.m.

The doorbell buzzed, and Monica glanced irritably at the time clock to the lower right of Aaron Brown’s lapel. She lamented the death of “Thirty minutes or it’s free” on the pyre of public safety and pushed herself from the couch.

“You the large garden, extra cheese, side of sticks?” the pizza guy muttered. He looked like the comic book store guy on The Simpsons, without the haughty demeanor or really much of any personality at all, and a beat-up Corolla rumbled and belched EPA-violative particulates at the curb.

“Busy night, huh?” Monica inquired, smiling.

“Naw,” the Jenny Craig dropout grunted.

“Keep the change,” the agent informed him, handing him the precise amount of her order.

“Hey, than--” she heard the delivery man murmur as she shut the door and threw the bolt. Monica conveyed her pizza one-handed to the living room and deposited it on her coffee table. She glanced at CNN as she dropped to the cushions, then froze.

The face inset on the screen above Brown’s bespectacled face was stolid – strong Latino features framed by a buzz-cut and a Desert Storm collar.

“…Army public information officials reported to be Private First Class Paul Reyes, who had been assigned to a tank command unit near Baghdad when the shooting began. Two other U.S. soldiers were injured seriously in the firefight – their names have not yet been released.”

The anchor transitioned to Wolf Blitzer with details, but Monica was too dazed to register them. She fumbled on the couch for the remote, but it had disappeared. Had she carried it to the kitchen? To the door to collect the pizza? She banished the ridiculous speculation, bounding over the table to silence the CNN crew.

Hands shaking, Monica snatched the portable phone from an end table and hit her second program button. The handset buzzed insistently as Monica cursed her parents for refusing to succumb to the miracles of call-waiting. She chastised herself – of course, Antonio and Rina, Paul’s folks, were probably on the line, seeking consolation and answers and sanity.

Monica dropped back onto the couch, impotent, ineffectual, heart pounding. Suddenly, she was overtaken by memories of her tall, machismo nephew, the long Texas days of their childhood, filled with games and laughter and massive tables loaded with vegetables, carniceria, and tamales. She was as quickly seized by wracking sobs as the full impact of the network broadcast hit her.

She hit redial, and quickly disconnected. Monica punched the first programmed number.

“Come on, John,” she begged. To no avail – her partner’s answering machine kicked in, and she irrationally hung up.

Monica stared at the blank TV screen, and then at the plastic face of her phone. She sighed, and hit the third button, the one that had been reserved for the absent Dana Scully for nearly a year until the present – and Monica’s more pressing needs – had intruded. A cheerfully tinny answering machine voice popped on, and Monica hiccupped in frustration.

“Jan, it’s me,” she greeted tremulously, struggling for control. “Something happened. If you can call me, or come over or something. I really need, you know…”

Monica lapsed into silence, and she jumped as Jan’s machine beeped. She tossed the handset on the table.

“No,” she murmured. “No, no.” She retrieved the phone, redialed, hung up onJan’s machine with a curse, and dialed her parent’s number. The busy signal shrieked at her, and she threw the phone across the living room.

You’ve got good reason, a dark voice assured her. “No,” Monica said. Anyone would… “No, no.”

He’s dead, he’s God knows where, the dark voice whispered with an irony that had haunted Monica Reyes for months.

She stumbled from the couch toward the kitchen…

Ernie’s Cincy-Style Chili

Mockridge , Ohio

6:56 p.m.

Calvin Welles dumped another handful of onions on his chili 5-way, savoring the cloves and other spices that differentiated Cincinnati chili from the Tex-Mex stuff he’d grown up on. The old man once said you didn’t quite grow up on it as much as gas up. That was about as witty as it ever got with the mean old bastard, and that was when he was half in the tank.

Calvin surveyed the glaring interior of the out-of-the-way smalltown diner. They hadn’t refilled his coffee in a half-hour, but that was all right with him, as everyone in the restaurant – the owner, two waitresses, the cook, and five customers – had died about 15 minutes before that. Their bodies littered the filthy linoleum – Health Department violation, for sure, he mused.

Calvin hadn’t killed any of them directly – he didn’t do that any more. Too hands on, too pedestrian, as the prison shrink would’ve said. Instead, he had merely introduced the supper crowd to a few of his friends from the other side, and simply set his gun on the counter near the register. Strange what people couldn’t take, how easily that thin shell around their sanity cracked like an M&M when they were exposed to ideas they couldn’t comprehend.

It was a somewhat childish hobby – Calvin recognized the significance of what he knew, what he could do, what laughably simple truths he had been made privy to, but he was man enough to admit what he was. Which was a sociopathic, inhuman killer who enjoyed watching the life leave others. Nothing to be proud of, certainly, but he had some 85 kills under his belt – 85 after his brief confinement in that lab in South Dakota . That’s where he got “religion” at the ministering hands of the Virgin Marita.

Before his conversion, Calvin had murdered a few dozen people the old-fashioned way, but it somehow had been more pleasurable then, when he believed he was single-handedly erasing each soul, each life. Now, he had the means to wipe out busfuls of souls in one sitting, but the knowledge that he was merely transferring energy, rather than obliterating it, left him less-than-satisfied. Like sitting down to a bowlful of pussy-assed Cincinnati-style chili when he was used to jalapenos and habaneros.

Something big, he reflected, absently swallowing beans and meat and cheese. He had a plan, but it hadn’t yet taken full form.

Calvin Welles’ only earthly concern was the gaps – the dark holes of time into which he occasionally descended. His watch – a Rolex lifted off a Mafioso who’d been persuaded to shot-gun his entire family over Sunday dinner – would skip minutes, hours, a day or so sometimes, and he’d wake up someplace, usually in the universe of his birth, with no idea how his body had hauled him there.

A bright light suddenly cast sharp shadows throughout the diner. It wasn’t like the high beams of one of the jacked-up pickups men around here wore like a surrogate dick. It was more like the cold halogens of a dozen floodlights. Calvin wondered if someone had been able to get through to the sheriff’s department before they had perished, if maybe a farm neighbor had heard the gunshots and called out Andy and Barney to investigate.

He sighed, tossed down his napkin, and slid out of his booth. This ought to be interesting.

But as Calvin shoved the glass door open with a departing jingle, he saw no cop cars, no Mounties, no smokies, no pigs of any description. Only that cold, blinding, consuming light. Then he made out its source, high above the cornfield which bordered Ernie’s to the west.

“Kee-rist almighty,” Calvin murmured.

John Doggett residence

Washington , D.C.

6:47 p.m.

“Shit!” Doggett yelled as he heard his own voice across the dark living room. He ran for the phone, barking his shin on a chair before hearing the tone that informed him his party had declined to leave a message.

He’d just left Monica a few hours before, wasn’t likely her. Besides, she or Skinner would call his cell if they needed him. Kersh would’ve left a chilly, ostracizing missive on the machine, convinced John had stepped out to the grocery just to vex him.

Barbara? Doggett dismissed the thought immediately. After he’d stumbled onto the solution to their son’s absurdly tragic murder, he and his ex-wife had parted on quietly final terms. She’d e-mailed him a month ago that she was marrying some man she’d met at a city council meeting – Barbara had filled her void with civic responsibility – and Doggett had typed out a quick congratulatory note and not communicated with her since.

The agent shrugged, and spent the next 10 minutes poring over bills, the law enforcement journals the former NYPD cop still received, and a letter from an old Marine buddy he’d known in Lebanon . The last he deposited in a desk drawer – his horrific betrayal by Knowle Rohrer and his movement further and further from the world of his old comrades had dampened his taste for war stories and aging soldiers.

Doggett retrieved a Bud Light from the kitchen, and flipped on the TV. ESPN was his natural instinct, but like most Americans over the last month – even jaded federal employees privy to detailed military intelligence – he was drawn to news of the war in Iraq .

A weary, grim Wolf Blitzer was standing in the center of a stark Middle Eastern street swarming with tanks and U.S. soldiers. “…suddenly burst out from over there, near that warehouse. Reyes was immediately killed and two others shot before a special ops team took out the sniper.”

Doggett’s head whipped toward the set. “Holy shit,” he whispered as he spied the face hovering above the CNN anchor. “Aw, Jesus, Monica.” He silenced the set and plucked his phone from its base.

Busy. Of course. Her folks must be in shock. Doggett fought the impulse to throw on his jacket and run over to Monica’s apartment. No; this was family time. He turned the set back on to learn all he could about Pvt. First Class Paul Reyes’ death.

When the phone jangled 15 minutes later, he leapt for it. “Doggett.”

“Yeah, John? I don’t know if you remember me. Jan Roosevelt? I’m a friend of Monica’s…?”

“Sure,” he acknowledged. Friend. Jan was Monica’s AA sponsor. “I saw the news about Monica’s nephew. You talked to her yet?”
Jan paused. “I’m not really certain I should even have called you. I’m, you know, Monica’s…”

“I know,” Doggett interrupted, suddenly anxious. “Is she OK?”
“I don’t know, John. She left a message on my machine, said she felt like a drink. I ran right over, but nobody’s answering the door and the TV’s blaring. I thought about calling 911, but I know she’s FBI, and I didn’t want to get her into any trouble if I was wrong. More likely if I was right, I guess I mean. So I thought maybe her partner… She’s told me you know about AA…”

“Ten minutes,” Doggett barked, grabbing his jacket.

**

Doggett had a set of keys: He’d watched Monica’s mail and papers several times, and as their relationship began to edge toward some interesting new dimensions, they’d decided he should just keep them. Jan, a petite black woman in her mid-thirties, waited impatiently behind him, and stayed back a few paces as he moved into the apartment.

The guy with the glasses, Doggett never could recall his name, was loudly highlighting the day’s developments in the Middle East. Monica was perched on the couch, entranced in his every word, hands clasped on her thighs.

She looked up, and beamed at the intruders. “John, Jan. John, Jan, ha.”

“Monica?” Jan ventured, a tone of resignation tinging her concern. Monica’s eyes were bleary, and she fumbled toward the remote at her knee, making several unsuccessful passes at retrieving it. A bottle of Smirnoff’s was open and half-drained on a nearby end table

“Sorry to start without you, Jan,” Monica shrugged, a little too loosely. “I’m guessing neither one of you wants a drink, huh?”

“Monica, I’m sorry about Paul,” Doggett said simply, sitting beside his partner and squeezing her hand.

“Oh, well,” she said in a ghostly voice, turning again to the electronic face on the TV. “Oh, well.”
Jan joined the pair and took the other hand. “Baby, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you called. I was, well, I guess it doesn’t matter. I’m so sorry about your nephew. It’s a terrible thing, and I know it’s rough on you. I only know what my mother would’ve said. Your Paul is in…”

Monica yanked her hand from Jan’s grasp, and stared at her incredulously. “In a better place? Is that what you think? That Paul’s somewhere in the clouds, at the left hand of Jesus, looking down at us all with a beatific smile? Or maybe in eternal torment, his flesh searing on his bones for all the pot he used to smoke, all the girls he’s screwed? What if there is no Higher Power, Jan? What if it’s all dirt and worms, huh?”

“Monica, honey…”

“No. None of that Twelve-step, holy roller crap tonight. No, no, no.”

Doggett held tight to her fingers, despite Monica’s efforts to retrieve them. “Monica, she’s just trying…”

“John, it’s OK—” Jan assured him. She’d heard it, hell, done it.

“I know!” Monica shrieked, wrenching free and pushing wobblingly from the couch. She fell back, breathing raggedly and looking wildly at the photos of dead soldiers being recycled on CNN.

“A better place,” she finally breathed.

**

“I thought she was doing pretty good,” Doggett murmured as Jan returned from the bedroom. She’d tucked his partner in and called Monica’s adoptive parents – she’d never known her real ones – with a story approximating the truth.

Jan, who Doggett understood was a marketing consultant, dropped into an armchair. “Yeah, you probably would. Everybody always thought I was doing pretty good, ‘til I’d drop off the face of the planet for a few days or drop into a family reunion or staff meeting totally shit-faced. Tal about winning friends and influencing people. Let me ask you: Has this come up at work? I mean, has Monica ever come in, you know, under the influence, that you know of?”

“No,” he responded too emphatically. Doggett grinned sheepishly. “No, I’m really pretty sure not. But I’ve wondered…”

“What?”

The agent looked her directly in the eye. “Look, how much has Monica told you about what she does – what we do?”

“Well,” Jan leaned back, and Doggett knew Monica had shared more than he might have thought. Or maybe just more than Doggett ever shared about the X-Files. “I know she doesn’t have any idea who her real people – her biological parents – were. I know about the Satanic shit she investigated in N’awlins – pretty dark stuff. And she tells me just enough about her current job to whet my appetite without giving me enough to have her committed. Sorry.”

“Oh, crap, I don’t blame you,” Doggett sighed, resting his head against the back of the couch. “Sometimes I think I’m going a little batshit myself.”

“Who doesn’t?”

“I’m not trying to upstage you, Jan, but you’d probably reappraise that statement if you saw what Monica sees on a daily basis.”

Jan arched an eyebrow. It reminded Doggett of Scully, and he wondered fleetingly where she might be right now. “You mean,” Jan chided gently, “what you both see on a daily basis.”

“Yeah,” Doggett nodded, and said nothing more. As if to fill the sudden void, his cell phone twirped urgently…

Palm Shores Sheraton

Palm Beach , Fla.

7:05 p.m.

Mark Rothmann swiped the last morsel of his pork loin through its piquant cranberry-chipotle sauce, feeling just a twinge of residual guilt. The forbidden pork would never have passed the lips of Rabbi Marcus Rothmann, the man Mark had been seemingly light years ago before he’d traded his Talmud for a real estate license.

But they seldom provided kosher alternatives at these predominantly goyim gatherings, and Mark had learned early on not to emphasize his religious and cultural differences around his WASPish Millennium 3 colleagues. He now surveyed those colleagues, and re-examined the crisis of faith that had led him down this new path. Despite a six-figure salary and a virtual palace of a home on Long Island , he wondered what price he’d paid for his abandonment of Temple Beth Sholem and its congregants.

“Everybody? Everybody?” Mark jumped as Gene Thorpe, CEO of Millennium 3, commandeered the dais mike. “I know dinner’s running a little long, but if we’re going to kick off the evening’s entertainment on schedule, we need to get our program on the road.

“I’ve known Jack Bales for 17 years now, ever since he was M3’s top mover in Marin County . Back then, he was a promising young realtor with a fire in his belly and a gleam in his eye. Fortunately, his doctor put him on a strict Maalox-and-Murine regimen, and now he’s just a balding dirty old man.”

Obligatory laughter. Rothmann had met the misogynistic, mildly anti-Semitic asshole at a closing workshop a year ago, and he wondered if Thorpe had intentionally injected such a grain of dark truth into his intro.

“Seriously,” Thorpe continued as everyone decided they could stop laughing, “Jack has consistently been one of Millennium 3’s top producers, whether out there in the trenches or in the home office. The ‘Homing in on You’ broadcast campaign won three major awards last year, and our sponsorship of programming on the Home and Lifestyle Network has given the company unprecedented visibility with the industry’s most desirable consumer demographic.”

Avaricious thirtysomething vultures looking for refuge from the dregs of society and their own ethical conscious in gated communities and well-patrolled suburbs, Rabbi Rothmann retorted silently. Mark was always taken aback when this voice popped forth from the inner recesses. He glanced about quickly, irrationally fearful his suppressed contempt for M3’s largely pampered customers might show in his face.

“…And so it is I introduce with pride and gratitude one of M3’s shining stars with, hopefully, some illuminating insights for all of us. Friends, let’s show our appreciation for Jack Bales!”

Mark, of course, joined in the wildly enthusiastic chorus of automatic handslapping that greeted the sleek, silver-haired game show host that mounted the risers to the stage, waving as if he were Tom Cruise, George W., and the Pope all bundled into one blue blazer. Bales pumped the CEO’s hand as if Thorpe were some young stockbroker the aging realtor was trying to reel in (did Mark see a momentary grimace of disdain on Thorpe’s face, or was that merely his own fleeting hope that at least some of these glad-handing barracudas here could see through Jack’s reptilian charm?), and ascended to the dais, grasping the edges of the podium as he scanned the crowd Mark knew from experience he couldn’t see beyond the hot spots of the ballroom.

“I’m glad we could all get together here tonight,” Bales began. “I don’t know that I’ve ever seen this many realtors assembled in one room, and the Palm Beach Shore Patrol has informed me they’ve reopened the beaches now that you’re all safely inside.”

Genuine laughter. They’re actually proud of being viewed as sharks, as predators, Mark marveled. We’re proud, bubby, we’re proud, Rabbi Rothmann reminded him.

“That reminds me of a story about one of Upper Midwest region managers, you know him, Nick Sandersen. Well, it seems he was driving through Iowa one night with a rabbi and a Hindu…”

Oh, boy, rabbis, Mark groaned. Bet Sandersen’s thrilled out of his gourd. He wondered if there might be any Pakistanis or Indians in the house right now, equally ready to slink under the tablecloth.

“…and the farmer says, ‘Sorry, fellas, but the local wrecker service don’t open back up again ‘til morning. You can stay up to the house tonight, but we only got the two guest bedrooms. One of you’ll have to sleep in the barn.’ So the rabbi asks his companions, ‘You want I should sleep out there?’”

Wonderful – dialect humor with hand gestures. Plus, Mark had sold his share of farmhouses in his time, and he wondered how many had two spare bedrooms.

“…Nick and the Hindu answer the door, and it’s the rabbi. The rabbi tells them, ‘I can’t sleep out there – there’s a pig in the barn, and in my religion, swine are unclean, unkosher.’ So the Hindu says, ‘All right, all right. I will be most happy to sleep in the barn tonight’…”

This time, Bales lapsed into a bad Apu, the minimart owner from The Simpsons. Mark hoped there was a Patel or a Rhawalpindi or whatever in the kitchen right now hearing this and plotting to piss in Jack’s luncheon vichyssoise tomorrow. It wasn’t a very rabbinical thought, but the image brought the former temple leader momentarily out of his doldrums.

“…and the Hindu tells them, ‘I am most dreadfully sorry, but there is a cow in the barn, and in my religion, the cow is a sacred beast with whom I am unfit to share sleeping quarters.’ So Nick sighs and says, ‘My father was a farmer, and his father before him. I guess I can take a night in the barn.’ And he marches out across the yard.”
And it’s the pig and the cow, Mark supplied.

“About two minutes later, there’s a knock at the farmhouse door…”

And it’s the pig and the cow.

“…so the rabbi and the Hindu get up and go downstairs…”

And it’s the pig and the cow.

“…and they open the door…”

And…

“…and it’s…”

And…

“…it’s…”

A murmur went up through the crowd as Bales blinked into the glaring spotlights. His fingers flexed on the rim of the podium, and he licked his lips. Jesus, was the bastard having a heart attack? Mark wondered. Finally had his fill of greed and corporate intrigue and rich banquets?

Then Bales straightened, his jaw tightening, his eyes focusing. He surveyed the crowd with new interest.

“Athelamenathanshethallazorem,” M3’s senior VP announced. At least, that was what it sounded like to Mark Rothmann, who dropped his fork. Then Bales launched into a long, droning monologue, as if he were reciting the latest townhouse listings in Martian.

Except, as Mark gradually realized, it wasn’t Martian. At least, a good part of Bales’ departure from his script wasn’t. The former Rabbi Rothmann was very likely the only man in the room who had any idea in hell what Jack Bales was babbling.

Babbling, the rabbi chuckled. An interesting pun, nu? Mark watched Bales continue with shocked interest. He had, of course, discoursed many times on the Old Testament tale of Babel, of the phenomenom called glossalalia, but he had only heard about cases of individuals speaking in tongues. Mainly crazy holy-roller Protestants in primitive one-room redneck Southern churches, either faking, faking themselves out, or seized by group hypnosis of some kind.

But Bales, as far as Mark knew, worshipped no other gods than M3, the U.S. Mint, and the New York Stock Exchange. Was this the real thing? God speaking through one of the least of his children, a little joke on the WASPs in the hall?

If so, it was a good one. Because Mark was relatively certain that nowhere in his limited education or industry dealings would Jack Bales have picked up a talent for conversational Aramaic…

Ronald Reagan Airport

Washington , D.C.

10:32 p.m.

“Kersh doesn’t know,” Assistant Director Walter Skinner informed Doggett once they were in the air. “At least not about our coming out here. A friend of mine, field agent out of Cincinnati , called me from the scene – he wasn’t sure how secure his line was, so he couldn’t give me details. But he said it was big, and that it definitely constituted an X-File. He sounded agitated, excited, and I heard a lot of activity in the background.”

“Mm,” Doggett nodded absently, staring out the passenger window as the small private plane hurtled out of Washington airspace.

“Agent Reyes,” Skinner murmured after a moment. “How’s she holding up?”

The agent regarded his superior quietly. He didn’t know why – God knows, he trusted Skinner with his very life, and anyone could excuse the need for some liquid courage after receiving news like Monica had had to absorb – but he’d covered for his partner’s episode. “’Bout what you’d expect. I guess she and the boy were pretty close, and to find out he was dead on CNN…”

“Of course,” Skinner nodded. “She get hold of her parents yet?”
“I don’t know,” Doggett mumbled.

“Mm,” the director grunted, and fell silent.

Mockridge , Ohio

11:56 p.m.

“This is some shit,” Special Agent Bill Kesey informed Skinner and Doggett in a Midwestern twang after the introductions were made. He sped up the interstate as trees, still-fallow corn and soybean fields, and fast food and hotel billboards hurtled past. “EPA and CDC came in about a half-hour after we started investigating the scene, shut us down completely. Wasn’t a total whitewash – two Kentucky troopers died at the scene before our team got there. But I suspect NAS or somebody else is pulling the strings on the public health guys.”

Kentucky troopers?” Doggett rasped from the back seat. “Maybe I’m just sleep-deprived, but why are we driving north if the crash was in Kentucky ?”
“Because,” Kesey drawled, “I want you to see something before I give you the real details on
Kentucky . Ah, here’s the exit.”

It was about 25 or so miles more, past the off-ramp minimarts and burger/taco joints, past two-story farmhouses and grain elevators, before they reached the restaurant. A plastic Pepsi sign, awash in patriotic Ohio State Police flashers, welcomed the trio to Ernie’s Cincy-Style Chili. The fluorescent glare from inside the eatery illuminated an adjacent cornfield and a long-abandoned used car dealership on the next lot. As Kesey pulled into the first slot beyond the black-and-whites and the Crime Scene tape, a large red-headed trooper with a handlebar mustache adjusted his ranger hat and crunched through the gravel toward him.

“Agent Kesey, sir?” the trooper rumbled. Doggett smiled to himself: Whether NYSP or OSP or probably even Timbuktu State Police, they were all punched out of the same cast-iron mold. “Your partner’s still inside, and the county pathologist’s here. Story’s leaked, already – a Cincinnati Metro guy and a couple of TV crews have already been here, and the guy from the Mockridge weekly. The captain gave them a standup the TV folks could use, just the nuts-and-bolts, and sent them on their way.”

“Just as well, even though I wouldn’t be surprised CNN or Fox doesn’t get somebody out here pronto, seven dead and all,” Kesey suggested blandly. Doggett glanced at Skinner, whose eyes had narrowed.

“What’s really up here, Bill?” the assistant director murmured after the trooper stalked to his unit. “You tell me you’ve got what looks like an alien aircraft crash down in Henderson, Kentucky, and then you drag us up here to, what, a multiple homicide scene?”

Kesey jerked his head toward the diner. “Why I wanted you to bring your X-Files fella. C’mon; you’ll see.”

**

“Jesus,” Doggett whispered as they entered the restaurant. Even after his years in the Marines, the NYPD, the FBI, he’d still never grown immune to this kind of mass destruction, this kind of explosion of violence. A trio of customers were sprawled on the shoe-streaked linoleum, blood puddling under each. An elderly couple, oblivious to the State Police techs working around them, sat silently in a duct-taped naugahyde booth, jaws hanging open, eyes wide in a perpetual state of horror. No blood on either one.

A waitress – probably just past high school age – was tangled around a counter stool. Defense wounds criss-crossed her palms. The huge carving knife that had savaged her lay between her body and that of an ill-shaven, thin man in a greasy chef’s apron.

“Owner’s in the freezer,” a broad, gray-haired man with a Bobby Knight expression grunted as he emerged from behind the counter. He inspected Skinner and Doggett. “Special Agent Cal Fassbinder. You Bill’s buddy?”
“Assistant Director Walt Skinner and Special Agent Doggett,” Kesey introduced.

Fassbinder nodded, only momentarily distracted. “Owner’s in the freezer. Self-inflicted to the right temple. My guess is the same .38 did these three. And come over here by the soda case.”

He edged past, and Skinner shrugged at Doggett. Fassbinder stopped at the stand-up Pepsi cooler. The plexiglass door was splintered in three spots, and additional bulletholes flanked the case.

“Two more shot patterns pretty much like this, over by the menu board and in front of the men’s room door,” Kesey’s partner reported. “What d’you make of that?”

“Robbery?” Doggett ventured. “Robbers sprayed a few bullets around the room to scare the locals into submission? Nah. This is overkill, especially for what the take must’ve been.”

“Cash register ain’t been touched,” Bobby Knight’s doppelganger shook his head. “And I’m guessing it was the owner’s gun, anyway. So did he go whacko, start shooting up the place because some customer complained there was too much turmeric in the chili?” He registered the surprise on his colleagues’ faces. “Food Network. And there is, by the way. The owner goes whacko, shoots up his customer base, and then hides in the freezer not only with the inside bolt thrown but a couple cases of burgers shoved in front of the door? Not likely.

“And the coroner’s gonna have to confirm it, but we seem to have the Encyclopedia Britannica of Death here. Owner seems to have killed the three farmers here, cook slashed the waitress, and the two old folks there just seem to have kicked the bucket.”

“Died of fright, from the looks,” Kesey murmured. “Maybe from the murder spree going on around them.”

“Won’t fly,” Fassbinder said. “See how they fell back across the back of the booth? Had one of the techs move ‘em back, and there’s no blood on the leather or whatever behind them. They were dead before these three got shot, probably before all hell broke loose.”

Doggett’s brow rose.

“What?” Fassbinder asked.

“Nothing.”

Fassbinder looked curiously at Kesey, who blew out a baffled breath. The large agent nodded, then went over to converse with a trooper.

“You ever seen anything like this?” Kesey asked his guests.

“Not precisely like this,” Doggett replied, glancing at the slaughter around them.

“Well, I have,” Kesey said. Skinner and Doggett looked at him simultaneously. The Cincinnati agent reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his PDA. He punched a few buttons and handed the handheld to Skinner. “Digital. Had a feeling the scene might get shut down pretty quick, so I got a few on the sly. Look familiar?”

“Jesus,” Skinner gasped. He handed the PDA to Doggett, who looked up quickly.

The small screen held a nightmarishly surreal tableau: Three bodies were scattered across the floor of a strangely clean, smooth room anchored by what appeared to be an S&M exam table. Fluids leaked from the trio of corpses.

But the corpses were gray, with outsized ovoid heads and long, spindly appendages. And the fluids leaking from their wounds was a Dayglo green.

“You took this?” Doggett mumbled. “I can’t believe this shit…You’re not trying to tell me...?”

“The M.O. – if you’d call homicidal chaos an M.O. -- was almost identical,” Kesey said. “That blood or whatever it is has some kind of chemical agent in it – overcame those deputies, and we had to go in with respirators. As incredible as it seems, I’d say these, aw, shit, aliens, died of whatever killed these people.”

Doggett was now silent, deep in apparently dark thought. “I don’t know, Bill,” Skinner said. “The coincidence seems astronomical, but it seems like a longshot.”

Kesey nodded; he’d expected this reaction. “Saved the capper, but I want to keep my shield, and Fassbinder’s kind of a company man down deep, so let’s just take a quiet walk outside.”

The temp seemingly had dropped a few degrees while Doggett and Skinner were inside, and Doggett couldn’t determine whether it was the climate or the scene in Ernie’s that now traveled up his arms and spine.

“We have seen a scene like that before,” Skinner reminded his agent as they walked just out of earshot behind Kesey.

Murdo , South Dakota ,” Doggett recited grimly. “You think Welles did this? The restaurant owner, Ernie or whatever, he was shooting at something in there. Probably some things, plural. And they didn’t seem to be taking the lead any too well. You saw what he did in that Synercom lab to those people. Maybe he did the same here – drove those folks crazy, made ‘em see or hear things that weren’t there.”

“Or possibly that were,” Skinner suggested.

Calvin Welles had been on Texas Death Row when a group of scientists seemingly led by or working in cooperation with Marita Covarubias essentially “bought” him from a corrupt warden and his equally twisted prison shrink. Welles had been identified as one of a handful of promising candidates with astonishing psychic abilities and subjected to some kind of drug that resurrected dormant genetical material – “junk DNA” – responsible for long-hidden human powers.

Welles, a mass murderer now empowered to new heights, had taken control of Covarubias’ research facility, somehow influencing the staff members to kill themselves and each other before Skinner, Doggett, Reyes, and the last remnants of The Lone Gunmen liberated a group of children kidnapped by the anti-colonist scientific conspiracy. The FBI agents had driven Welles underground – or somewhere more fantastic – and Gibson Praise, a psychic prodigy who’d befriended and protected Mulder, had vanished, as well.

The episode had been a turning point for Doggett, the door to denial slamming forever behind him. But the thought of Welles holding sway over even Man’s most formidable enemy shook Doggett.

“Hope you got a good dry cleaner,” Kesey said after they’d crossed the rural highway and trespassed onto a grain rail loading facility. He reached the base of a towering, corrugated grain silo, grasped the bottom rung of a ladder, and hauled himself up. Doggett shrugged at Skinner, and they began their ascent.

“Fassbinder and me came in by chopper,” Kesey yelled. “That field had been planted, we’da both noticed it, but even with just that no-till crop residue still on the ground, you oughtta be able to see it we get high enough.” At about 100 feet, he turned, and Skinner and Doggett stopped.

Fighting off a mild case of jet lag-enhanced vertigo, Doggett looked down, back across the road. The state cruisers cast red-white-and-blue circles of light, and he could see Ernie’s estate would have to repair the restaurant’s roof.

But it was the field adjacent to the diner where Kesey had seen it. The pattern was clear in the overcast night – a circle cut or more likely blown or burned into the corn stubble. It looked like something out of that goofy shit movie Reyes had hauled Doggett to, the one with Mel Gibson and the aliens.

“Christ,” he murmured.

“Yup,” Keyes deadpanned. “They warn folks in these parts not to pick up hitchhikers. Guess our boys learned the hard way.”

Oglala, South Dakota

One week later

“So life’s a bitch, and then you die,” Dr. Holmes conceded. “Then what?”

It wasn’t designed as an academic attention-getter: Holmes had no need of such gimmicks. In the words of Renee Zellweger, he’d had his students at ‘”Hello.”

Holmes was quirky, good-humored, irreverent toward many of things for which his students held little reverence, and, most importantly, took what could be a mundane psych course into dark, shrouded new territory. The psychopathology of the serial killer, the genetic underpinnings of the religious cultist, the possibility of shared conscious and even UFOs. While his eccentricities – the pseudoscience, no truly fervent sociopolitical dogma one could pin down – would have made him an outcast on any major university campus, he was generally well-liked at this small community college, a refuge for many of his colleagues who’d survived savage academic back-biting.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Holmes grinned as more than a few eyes rolled toward the cheap classroom ceiling. “The Prof’s gone holy-roller. Tetched by an angel. Getting a little too far inside your Gen-XXX comfort zone, Podreski? Relax. I’m not talking about harps and pitchforks and perpetual barbecue pits where the soul languishes in torment but the skin never quite gets crispy enough to serve. I’m talking science – Mr. Wizard meets Father Death. The one so subperbly portrayed by William Sadler in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.”

“You’re talking voodoo bullshit, you mean,” Zach Truesdale amended sleepily. Truesdale was a computer sciences major who had signed up for Holmes class as an easy gen ed credit. It had been easy, as promised, but only so because it was like no other droning class he’d experienced. What had at the beginning of the semester been indignant sniping at Holmes’ hybrid scientific views had developed into a stimulating sparring match between student and teacher, between known and unknown science.

“No, my young liege,” Holmes countered, affecting a lofty tone. “I’m talking hard, nuts-and-bolts Physics 101. If we concede the concept of a human soul —” A small, collective groan went up from the desks before him. “If we accept the notion that the soul exists, what is it? What gives us the spark of life, the ability to reason, the will to rail against evil, even against John Ritter? Is it some ethereal gift, some intangible force bestowed on humanity from the gods, or maybe is it a physical force of this universe.”

“Energy?” Helen Daugherty queried, with a lift of her cynical brow that made Holmes wish he’d called in sick this morning and stayed in bed with the mother of his child, the learned and anatomically expert biology prof, “You’re full of shit.”

“Don’t move ahead so fast – the nature of the human mind is next week. Why not energy? There are two essential states of being in this universe, at least the universe we can see and touch. Matter and energy. The Truesdalian skeptic cannot accept that any other universe might exist and rejects the notion that we are guided by angels, demons, and pixie-dust fairies. But there it is: Something beyond the mechanical energy of our bones and muscles and the electrical impulses of our brains and hearts drives us along this road we call existence. So why not energy?”

“And energy cannot be created or destroyed,” Jacob Moonrise supplied. Jacob was a nephew of Holmes’ friend, the county sheriff, and he was possessed of both the hard-bitten pragmatism of his generation and the supernatural bent of his Native American forebears. “So if the soul is energy, and the soul ‘dies,’ then it can’t really cease to exist. Like those near-death experiences people have.”

“Say they have,” Truesdale interjected. “You’re saying when we die, our soul just flies out into the atmosphere, zipping around until, what, it finds a new conduit or host?”

“No more John Carpenter for you, young man,” Holmes scolded. “But maybe you’re on the right track. Nuclear energy can’t just power a microwave unless it’s used to produce electrical energy. Electrical energy can’t be conducted through rubber or glass. I know, believe me.”

“Light can become heat, and heat light,” Truesdale argued. “So why can’t the soul, like there is such a thing, just seep into the environment like ground lightning, and the rest of what’s left of us just rot away and become worm food?”

Holmes hopped from the corner of his desk. “Don’t know, and now, you’ve made me hungry. Oral exam tomorrow, or not, and everyone watch Caddyshack by Friday. I want to know what Chase meant by ‘being the ball.’ That’s all, people.”

He was standing a discreet 50 feet beyond the cafeteria entrance, though discreet was no longer a term that could accurately describe Jeffrey Spender. Even from a distance, Holmes noted the facial prosthetics that inadequately disguised the ravages an alien race had visited upon him in collaboration with his vengeful, cigarette-smoking father. Spender likely could have undergone extensive cosmetic surgery with the resources available to him through the shadowy cooperative into which he’d recruited Holmes and his companion, but to date he retained the scars of his scientifically abuse.

Holmes suspected this was a matter of choice, that Jeffrey Spender embraced his scars to keep his hatred, his fervor, his sense of mission alive. That mission was the salvation of mankind, and a disfigured, fanatical madman was at the helm, flanked by occasionally homicidal knights.

Fortunately, the sunglasses and seed cap Spender had adopted for this campus visit sufficed – a tide of self-absorbed, heavily-pierced, generationally insular students swarmed obliviously past and around the former FBI agent.

“Hey,” Holmes greeted as he approached Spender, a faint flutter in his gut. “The little woman was wondering when you might pop on up for some hamloaf and a fast-paced night of euchre.”

Spender had never been one for irony, even before he’d been mutilated and emotionally deconstructed. “We need to talk.”

Sherman Holmes, AKA Fox Mulder, nodded. “Yeah, I believe we do.”

**

Even with their meager combined academic incomes and the escalating costs of feeding and raising William, Scully had managed to do minor miracles with the third-floor walkup she shared with Mulder and their 1 ½-year-old son, courtesy of cable do-it-yourself programs and the Home Depot down the road. Sunny, with bright primary splashes and tastefully elemental accessories, the apartment was both a perfect sanctuary – and a perfect disguise – for the pair.

Spender noticed none of this. Mulder plopped into his favorite thrift store armchair, while Spender stood before him, the need for comfort irrelevant.

“I don’t know if it happened to make the wire services up here, but did you happen to hear about an incident at a recent realtors’ conference in Florida ?”

“Glossalalia,” Mulder responded. “Saw it on the Internet. Middle-aged capitalist type gets up to make a speech, starts Babeling in Aramaic…”

“And Anasazi and Babylonian and an ancient Tibetan dialect. As well as some language we haven’t yet been able to identify.”

The fed-turned-teacher looked up. “There are generally two categories of glossalalia, or ‘speaking in tongues’ – cases where the subject begins to speak fluently in foreign, unfamiliar tongues, and those in which the subject is believed to be speaking in God’s own language.”

Spender shook his head impatiently. “Our linguist insists it’s human language – the syntax and structure parallels the basic structure of every language known to man.”

“Whoa, back up. Linguist? How’d you happen to get what this realtor said? I can’t imagine the Ten O’Clock News would’ve found that interesting footage.”

“A writer from an area business publication attended the dinner presentation, and got it all on cassette, except for tape changes, of course. It seems this reporter is an evangelical Baptist, and he recognized what was happening. Or thought he did.”
Mulder caught Spender’s add-on comment, but bypassed it for the moment. “How did you get this tape, Jeffrey?”
“It doesn’t--”

Mulder leaned forward, gentle but insistent. “How did you come to possess this tape? Is our fundamentalist journalist still among the living?”

Spender stared down at his former FBI colleague for a moment. “I told you before, what happened to that farmer and his wife was a tragic error. We would have had no need for violence. We simply bought the tape, told the reporter we represented a university research project on glossalalia.”
“So you’ve got the new Realtors Gone Wild tape,” Mulder said. “You playing God’s word backwards, seeing if Carson Daly comes out?”

“It’s not God’s word,” Spender answered abruptly. His faith apparently had evaporated with the torture he’d endured. “It’s something else. If I were religious, I might even say it’s a miracle. What we need from you--”

“Hold on, Jeffrey,” Mulder said softly. “I want to talk to you about something else first. We want off this bus.”
“What?” Spender’s damaged mouth was a reasonably straight line.

“Scully and I. And William. I think we’re through.”
“You can’t…”

“It’s been building, Jeffrey. We have a child, now, and although we don’t know what the future might bring at this point, we want to raise him as a child, not as a fugitive or a target. We both appreciate what you’ve done to protect William, to give us a new life, but we don’t have anything left. We want you to let us out.”

“You know the financing, the protection, would stop,” Spender said, stating fact rather than attempting to coerce Mulder.

“I know. But we’re making enough at the college to get by, and I think we’d just like to see how normal people live on this planet, at least as long as this world continues to exist. Can you understand that, Jeffrey?”

Spender didn’t move. He gazed out the front window, at the pizza place and the park across the street. Finally, he looked back down at Mulder with what might have been a trick of Spender’s facial disfigurement or a half-smile.

“How would you like,” he asked, “to have a world for William to grow up in?”

**

“I don’t like this,” Scully said, her face lined with intense anxiety. “I don’t like this man in our lives, in William’s life.” She stroked William’s thick hair as he recklessly spooned baked beans and hotdog pieces into his anxious mouth.

“I know,” Mulder murmured, staring across the table at his son. William grinned shyly, working his jaws fiercely. “But if what Spender says is right, then we have to try.”
“There are others,” Scully stated.

“None with our unique blend of scientific acumen and voodoo bullshit. Look, Scully, this Jack Bales – a man of almost no religious conviction or advanced education – is the repository of a staggering database. A database encoded into a variety of ancient human languages. Among other things, Bales’ meanderings included a detailed procedure for synthesizing magnetite.”

Scully’s head came up, and she glanced at William. “Magnetite. Spender injected William with—”

Mulder nodded. “The Anasazi village where our cigarette-smoking pal set up housekeeping was built on a magnetite deposit. They knew, Scully – don’t ask me how, but they knew the aliens’ Achilles heel. If Spender’s translations are correct, this Bales is a living library of information on how to seriously fu--, sorry, Mom, seriously mess up the extraterrestrial population. A recipe for alien kryptonite, the genetic structure of a new strain of black oil, who knows what else by the time Spender’s guy translates it.”

“Mulder,” Scully said slowly, “what are you suggesting? That this information was somehow implanted in this man. By whom? And why? Why hide secrets like this, particularly in someone as unlikely as Bales?”

Mulder smiled, leaning over to wipe a dribble of bean sauce from William’s chin. Then he reached over to gently lift the cross hanging about Scully’s throat, an impish grin playing at his lips. “Maybe whoever did this works in mysterious ways, Scully.”

St. Damon’s Catholic Church

Austin , Texas

3:30 p.m.

“Monica?” It was the call every fallen Catholic knew and dreaded. Monica turned on the church steps to face Father Moreno, with what she hoped appeared to be a sincere smile for her family’s friend and spiritual leader.

“Father,” she murmured, surrending to the burly old man’s hug. “The service was beautiful. Thanks.”

Moreno backed up a step, nodded. “I was telling your parents how tragic, that Pablo should meet such an untimely end just as he was turning his life around. He came to visit me, you know, a few days before he shipped out. He mentioned you, how much he admired his Aunt Monica, the FBI agent. I think he might actually have been thinking about a career in the law.”

Monica swallowed hard. Father Moreno was a kind, benevolent man who’d always attended to the seemingly most trivial needs of his parishioners. She harbored no animus toward the priest, but she would not allow herself to lose emotional control in front of him. If Monica heard one more reflection about God’s will, his plan…

Monica’s break with The Church had come gradually following her graduation from Quantico . She’d specialized in ritual crimes and Satanic cults with the Bureau, and as she was immersed more deeply in the world of occult belief and its more sinister manifestations, she’d begun to see the rites of the Catholic church in a different light.

When she returned to her faith, it was to a Protestant church, less steeped in ancient ritual and superstition. Less obviously, at least.

“It was good to see you again, Father,” she waved, struggling not to escape down the stone steps.

“Monica,” Moreno called. “I was hoping we might talk some time before you go back to Washington .”

She sighed, still smiling. “Gee, I’ve got a ton to do here, and I’ve got a big case on hold back home. I’ll see, OK.”

Father Moreno nodded, knowingly. “I hope time will allow.” He turned back into his church.

Louisa Reyes was waiting at the base of the steps, jet black hair and jet black dress neat as a pin, disapproval lining her strong Latina features. Tomas Reyes was chatting with Paul’s father, who hadn’t held up too well once the service had started.

“Yes?” Monica demanded. “Don’t start, Mom.”

“Father Moreno christened you – he’s known you since God brought you to us,” Louisa scolded. “You may no longer belong to the church, but I thought your father and I taught you how to act with an old family friend.”

“Sorry. I just don’t need to be brought back into the fold just now.”

“I think you’re a bit defensive, chica,” Monica’s adoptive mother suggested, a smile finally shaping her deep red lips. Louisa was a respected local businesswoman, but around her family, she reverted to a Mexican-American yenta. Monica tried to dig in her heels, but in the end, she relented, placing an arm about Louisa’s shoulder and steering her toward the Reyes’ Lincoln. “Besides,” Louisa added, “What’s this ‘big case?’ I thought you said our John was handling everything while you were here.”

“Can’t talk about it, Mom, you know that.” It wasn’t precisely true, but Monica knew her mother was disturbed by her current assignment. She’d always feared Monica would be sucked in by some dark cult force or sacrificed by some coven of crazed teenaged Satanists. The move to the X-Files had done little to assuage Louisa, and her adopted daughter soon began to plead the Fifth when asked about her casework.

“Bullshit,” Louisa muttered dryly. Monica broke into a giggle – it was always a shock to hear such phrases uttered by her churchgoing, patrician mother. “Come along, chica – it’s going to be a very long evening. By the way, how is our John? You two any closer to making any plans?”

“A very long evening,” Monica echoed.

**

As with almost every funereal culture on the planet, the wine and liquor flowed as Paul Reyes’ survivors celebrated the fallen soldier. Monica thus wound up on Uncle Antonio’s back porch, nursing her Coke and resurrected memories of the true Paul Reyes.

Her nephew had been a deeply troubled boy – the booze, the drugs, the girls, the brush with the gangs. Only Louisa’s intervention had kept him from juvie hall his senior year, and at that, he dropped out a month prior to graduation. He’d alienated nearly his entire family before coming to some to-date inexplicable epiphany that launched him on a quest for his G.E.D. and military enlistment.

It was as much the revisionist deification of Paul Reyes that had led to Monica’s defection to the porch. He had been a deeply flawed, deeply disturbed boy whose salvation ultimately had been his downfall. In her current spiritual state, Paul’s epitaph offered little, if any, solace.

“There you are,” Tomas Reyes’ smooth bass voice suddenly rumbled behind her. The paunchy but still muscular electrician grunted as he lowered himself onto the step beside her. “I was afraid maybe those space people your friends are so fond of had taken you away.”

Monica didn’t bristle at the reference to her unorthodox life’s work. Her adoptive father was too good-hearted and gentle to taunt anyone – his humor was the bedrock of the Reyes clan, and if Louisa often was the glue that held it together, he was its foundation. Monica leaned on his shoulder, and he squeezed her hand.

“Tough in there for you, eh?” he ventured after a few moments of moonlit silence. Monica’s father was the only family member in whom she had confided her problem. Her father was the only family member who understood her problem firsthand. He still popped a Dos Equis or a Bud at lodge or family gatherings, but he’d never mended the crack in the living room mantle that reminded him of how he’d once lost himself to booze.

“Most of the time, I keep it together pretty well,” Monica informed him. “It’s times like this, when things don’t make sense, when I begin to question what all this is about.”

“Yeah,” Tomas replied simply. “That was Paul’s problem, I think – if he couldn’t think it away, he’d drink it away. Probably my problem, too.”

“How do you keep it under control, Dad?” Monica asked, feeling the warmth of his arm. “I just see the stuff these days, and I’m crawling out of my skin.”

The arm shrugged under her cheek. “Guess I’m too old for that 12-step bullshit – I don’t mean it’s bullshit, Baby, I’m just too old for it. Spose I just picture myself bellowing at your mama and catching you hiding behind my chair, that look of horror in your eyes.”

Monica squeezed his calloused paw. “Stop.”

“No, you need to hold onto that, remember your old man’s not perfect. Not you, either. It’s probably in our blood.”

“I’m adopted,” Monica recited, smiling, for the thousandth time.

“Oh, shit; I keep forgetting,” Tomas supplied in mock surprise, also for the thousandth time.

Verdant Cove Condominiums

Ft. Lauderdale , Fla.

9:20 a.m.

“So you really think I got a case here, ah, Holmes?” Jack Bales rattled the ice in his highball glass as he re-examined the pleasant-looking, goateed young man across his patio table. A pair of jet skis roared past off the adjoining beach, but the former M3 marketing man took no notice.

“Well, I don’t want to imply it’s a slam-dunk,” Mulder began slowly. Didn’t want to overplay – Mulder had given his approach to the realtor considerable thought. Honesty was out: A guy like Bales would’ve had condo security toss him out on his ass. Although his company had eighty-sixed him after his onstage display of glossalalia – subtly, of course, part of M3’s downsizing and repositioning, complete with a sweet severance parachute – Bales would be scouting for something else in the industry, so he wouldn’t want to talk to a “reporter.”

The lawsuit scam had just the right smell of money to it, and indeed, Bales had leapt at a meeting like a frat boy at a pile of nachos.

“But we are living in a PC age,” Mulder continued. “So much as whisper sexual harassment in the workplace…”

“Yeah,” Bales growled. “ Broads think it’s made outta gold, but the moment you show a little interest…”

“Ee-yeah. Anyway. And it’s not just gender or race. That security guard up in Illinois , the Apostolic Christian who couldn’t wear slacks ‘cause of her faith? She won her case, got a tidy settlement, and kept her job to boot. Religion’s gone from a dirty word to a whole new field of litigation. And that’s where you come in. What it amounts to is, your employers terminated you simply because you expressed your faith, and it made them uncomfortable.”

Bales frowned. “Expressed my faith? Hell, I had no fucking idea what I was saying up there that night. It was all Greek to me.”

“Aramaic, actually, I understand,” Mulder amended. “And that’s irrelevant to our case. Glossalia – speaking in tongues – is a recognized manifestation of spiritual faith. Whether you were consciously or unconsciously expressing that faith – hell, whether you even believe in what you were saying – doesn’t matter. You exercised your freedom of religion, your bosses abridged that freedom. Case closed. Nolo contendre, ipso facto.”

“I dunno,” Bales stewed, crunching on a piece of ice. “Kinda makes me sound like some kinda holy roller fruitcake. Nobody wants to hire some Bible thumper to sell their ranch house or office building.”

Mulder leaned forward. “Mr. Bales, I daresay that if we win this case, you’d never have to sell another beachfront property or write another catchy slogan again. And I think we have an excellent chance of winning this one. What do you think?”

Bales leaned back in his lounger, brows furrowed. Then he grinned broadly. “Praise the Lord, let’s do it to ‘em.”

“Praise be,” Mulder nodded, reaching for his attaché case. “I have just a few things for you to sign so I can get the ball rolling. And there is just one small formality.” Bales’ eyes followed Mulder’s hand into the case and back up to the table, where the “attorney” placed a small, clear plastic cup with a snap-on lid.

“What the crap?” the former realtor muttered.

“You’re close,” Mulder chuckled. “Sorry. It’s just M3’s attorneys are going to go after your physical and mental soundness, argue your glossalalia was some form of organic imbalance, maybe even temporary insanity.”

“I thought temporary insanity was good.”
“Only in murder cases. We want to know what we’re up against, check to make sure your chemicals are properly mixed. You’re a golfer, right? Just shoot for the cup.”

Bales picked up the cup, shrugged, and stood up. He reached for his zipper.

“I don’t have to witness this,” Mulder assured him hastily. “You can do it inside. I’ll just wait here.”

Bales nodded somberly, and disappeared inside his condo.

“Putz,” Mulder muttered, staring out at the Atlantic. It was complicated ruse simply to get a DNA sample, but knowing Spender’s friends, they’d have waylaid Bales outside his favorite lobster house or strip joint, lobbed off a finger or his head, and minced up the rest as shark food. William had been restored to his biological parents as a result of their literal and unnecessary overkill, and Mulder secretly was as uncomfortable as Scully working with these zealous “saviors” of humanity.