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CAPISTRANO
CROSSOVER/MOTW
Somewhere around the second half of Season 7, I
discovered the world of fanfic through The X-Philes, a site maintained
by a student named Stacy. It was home to a half-dozen female writers --
other students, I suspect -- and I was grateful when they proved open
to a 40-year-old amateur's first work of Internet fiction. For this
first tale, I decided to go back to the televisic roots of the X-Files
and Carl Kolchak, the original Night Stalker, a Chicago
reporter
who in the
mid-70s encountered vampires, werewolves, rogue robots, and gruesome
golem with regularity. Darren McGavin was cast as Arthur Dales as an
homage to the intrepid Kolchak.
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WEREWOLVES
OF BURBANK
CROSSOVER/MYSTERY
James Scott Rockford (of Rockford
Files fame) was the king of cool for us '70s kids -- the greatest
private
eye ever
to be beaten senseless on behalf of an ungrateful client. Whether he
was
looking for a missing heiress or dealing with corrupt smalltown
politicians
or pulling off a million-dollar scam on some corporate scumbag,
Rockford
always knew what to say and how to say it in a way that would get him
punched
in the nose. My story finds Rockford entangled with a pop music
superstar,
greedy showbiz agents, tough guy cops, a demon monster, and a pair of
federal
agents named Mulder and Scully.
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MURDER
WITH A FUTURE
CROSSOVER/MYSTERY
The greatest TV detective of all time? Get
outta here! Lt. Columbo ,
LAPD. The first
time I saw this show, back in junior high, I thought this was the
heighth of the television art -- the clever cat-and-mouse games, the
deliciously elitist villains sowing their own murderous destructions at
the hands of clumsy proletariat Columbo. Well, I had a thought, years
ago:
What if they got Shirley MacLaine, made her a Hollywood psychic, and
set
Columbo on her trail. Well, they never did it, the maladroits, so I
wrote this tale of detection teaming the good lieutenant with Agents
Mulder and Scully. |
TOMODACHI
SEQUEL/MYSTERY
The first of my non-crossover stories features
Robert
Patrick
Modell,
a maladjusted maniac known as The Pusher, who is into Samurai lore and
who
can psychically talk anyone into doing his bidding or even, in one
case,
having a heart attack. The Pusher was featured on two episodes of The
X-Files,
"Pusher" and "Kitsunegari." When I found a site devoted (somewhat
disturbingly)
to Modell, I posited to them this scenario: What if Agent Mulder woke
up
one morning, went to work, found himself partnered with The
Pusher,
and had no idea anything was amiss? The story within the story deals
with
past life regression and murder in the pharmaceutical industry. |
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WHEN
HARRY
MET
SCULLY
HUMOR
One of the most common type of X-Files
fanfic is the "shipper story," devoted to exploring and or expanding
the emotional relationship between Mulder and Scully. Well, I felt a
bit left out, so
I applied myself to the task. However, I'm not the most adept at things
romantic, so I took a different slant and composed a sort of X-Files
chick flick/supernatural comedy. Substitute Meg Ryan or Sandra Bullock
for Gillian Anderson and Tom Hanks or Hugh Grant for David Duchovny. |
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SOUL
SURVIVOR
HUMOR/CASEFILE
I HATE reality shows. This involves
taking a diverse group of real people with workaday jobs such as
performance artist or aromacolorist and narcissistic personalities,
placing them together
in a claustrophobic environment where their vapidity and egos will
begin
to collide, and then listen to their self-conscious ramblings to the
cameraman. If you can't tell, I think it's just FAB!! Actually, though,
I did think it would make for an interesting narrative experiment and a
good way to explore the nearly psychic connection between our Mulder
and Scully.
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SAMPLER
CASEFILE
A few years back, I accompanied the wife on a
week's odyssey to Pigeon Forge and Nashville, Tenn. I will admit at
this juncture I'm no big country fan: Waylon and Willie sounds to me
like a urinary exam gone terrrribly wrong. But I remembered the 50-50
partnership that is marriage, kept murmuring "barbecue" to myself, and
started plotting this tale of
murder and magic in Music City. This is what I'd call meat-and-potatoes
X-Files: A serial killer, folklore-steeped intrigue, and some
supernatural
comeuppance for the villain. Yee-haw. |
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KENNETH
ETIAM
HILDAY/CASEFILE
This is a Christmas tale about a man who finds
himself in
a
situation similar to Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life," but with
nightmarish
implications. Fox Mulder takes the Clarence the Angel role here, with
partner
Scully a concerned observer. But this is no "ordinary" X-file, as I
hope
you will discover.
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DEFRAG
CASEFILE
Since an early age, I've loved the
old-fashioned Ellery Queen/Agatha Christie-style whodunit, especially
what's known as
the "locked room murder" -- the homicide committed in a room sealed
from
the inside or in the snow, with no footprints surrounding the body, or
in
a space station with no other astronauts around to have committed the
deed.
This is my attempt at the locked room, with an old-fashioned dying clue
and
a mansion full of suspects thrown in. For a new-fangled touch, the
victims is a Bill Gates sort of fellow, and my Sherlocks are no other
than our good agents, Mulder and Scully. So pull up an armchair and see
if you can figure out who or what dunit...
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REMISSION
SEQUEL/POST-REQUIEM*
My mother, Jean Ross, died on Mother's Day
1993. She was a scientist at a time when a lot of women wouldn't have
felt welcome in the field. She had a wry sense of humor, but woe to
anyone who injured or slighted her family. If you had Jean Ross in your
corner, you had a formidable champion. Cancer was about the only foe
she couldn't face down in my lifetime. I married in 1993, months after
my mother's death.
My wife as well has been my champion, and each year, she walks for
cancer
victims and survivors. So when I decided to write a solo case for Agent
Dana Scully, something a bit more reflective and somber than is my
normal
style, I focused on two factors my mother had in common with Scully:
Her
scientific acumen and her battle with cancer. For this story, I brought
back an old X-Files nemesis, Leonard Betts.
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CANARY
CASEFILE/SEQUEL/POST-REQUIEM*
The resignation and departure of Agent Fox
Mulder in Season Eight sent X-Files fans into a chronic stage of
anxiety.
The recent announcement that the X-Files would be closed at the end of
this
season elicited varying reactions: Resigned satisfaction from those who
couldn't accept Scully without Mulder or the Files without either;
frustration from others (myself included) who believe John Doggett was
a worthy heir to the files and that the storytelling of Chris Carter
and company was still in
top form. But enough, already. We all wonder where Mulder is right now
(no,
not sipping margaritas with Tea Leoni), and I speculated that he just
wouldn't be able to stay from the weird and phantasmagorial. But how
does former
Agent Mulder cope without a gun or official sanction? To answer that,
we
travel from 31 million B.C. to the remote reaches of man's future and
learn
a little about a distinctly Illinoisan phenomenon called the Tully
monster...
LOVE,
HONOR, AND OBEAH
CROSSOVER/MYSTERY
As my own "series," 10X, came to a conclusion
at the end of 2003,
Vickie generously invited me on board her own universe, Virtual Season.
This story,
written for a VS crossover challenge, is somewhat lighter and
banterish. In what I feel to be a fitting touch, Love, Honor, and Obeah
-- a story of witchcraft and the law -- features one of the stars of my
XF Sunday replacement, The Practice. Read how ethically challenged
Boston
attorney Alan Shore, with the aid of our agents, defends a man who
killed
to protect his family from sorcery.
ASURYA
LOKAS
HOLIDAY/HUMOR
This one, another short-short, was written for
a VS
Valentine's Day
challenge. Mulder and Scully's parallel universe romance offered the
backdrop for a story of post-911 paranoia, Eastern religion, and an
impossible "murder" motivated
by, well, it's a Valentine's story, right?...
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MOA A
MOANA
CASEFILE
My first full-length adventure in the
VS
universe,
and probably my
best-researched tale. Inspired by a
recent Hawaiian vacation, this is a real fish story complete with
genetically engineered "killer(?)" tuna, CIA experimentation, and
island "little people." As for the title, look it up for a
chuckle...
BANSHEE
PREQUEL
In honor of St. Patrick, we take you back to
an
early episode in the
life
of Fox Mulder, Oxford crinimal psychology prodigy, and his old flame,
Phoebe
Green, as he investigates a banshee in Dublin and a mystery that
literally
screams to be solved...
TRICK OR
TREATISE
HOLIDAY/CASEFILE
As Virtual Season 12 commences, we find our
intrepid
agents knocking
once again at the door to the unknown, on Halloween night. This time
around, I lampoon the world of academics as I unravel this tale of
serial murder and ancient ritual...
DARK MEAT
HOLIDAY/HUMOR
Mix Thanksgiving with a mildly demented family
not
unlike my in-laws,
crazed gobblers, retro ghosts, and two visiting FBI agents, and you
have a holiday tale flavored by my vocational interest in agriculture...
SLIM
DICKENS
HOLIDAY/CASEFILE
I love time travel stories -- all those
twisty,
sinister, neck-snapping
anomalies. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure may be one of my favorite
riffs on the theme. So when I set out
to write my VS12 buddies a Yuletide story, I decided to rewrite history
with a zany, time-torturing Christmas Carol...
DOCKED
CASEFILE
One of my
favorite X-Files X-periments was Kill Switch, that great
William Gibson story of artificial intelligence and virtual life, with
one of the greatest opening acts ever on TV. I tapped my own inside
perspective on Congress and current affairs to compose this cyberspace
adventure...
THE
BICOASTAL,
BILOCATED,
FLY-BY
MURDER CASE
CROSSOVER/MYSTERY
Columbo meets Mulder again, this time in a
tale of
two horror writers,
a killer who apparently can be two places at once, and a coupla guys
who like to bust impossible crimes...
COLD
FILE
CROSSOVER/MYSTERY
Here
is a crossed-up salute to
Philly Town, which I visited recently. Mulder and Scully help Det.
Lilly Rush and the other members of Philadelphia's Cold Case Squad
solve a murder and a radical bombing during the Summer of '69...
NICHTOPHOBIA
CASEFILE
Dark is fun, and this one is
straight from
the backside of the moon, asking cosmic questions about fate, genetics,
violence, and the human soul. Plus, Vickie at VS12 generously allowed
me to pull a fast one, offering an alternate world version of one of
the key moments of Season Nine...
FIRST
STRIKE
CASEFILE/HUMOR
Despite covering high school football and
basketball
for nearly five
years on a daily paper, I must admit I'm no jockhead. But like all
transplanted Central Illinoisans, I just gotta love the Cubbies -- the
Chicago Cubs. But the Cubs enjoy a true love-hate relationship with the
public, and thereby hangs my tale of baseball, homicide, and, yes, the
supernatural...
COLONIAL
MODERN
HOLIDAY/CASEFILE
Thanksgiving again, and Mulder and Scully must
solve
a series of
small-town new England murders if they hope to make it home for turkey
time...
STAR
OF THE EAST
HOLIDAY
One of the pivotal moments in The X-Files was
Mulder's final
revelations regarding the fate of his missing sister in Sein Und
Zeit/Closure, and I felt Anthony Heald (Harold Piller) turned in one of
the series' best, most touching guest performances. Here, Mulder and
Piller are reunited on Christmas Eve, with a parallel universe assist
from DETECTIVE John Doggett...
GOD
AND BAD PLANNING
CROSSOVER/MYSTERY
Crossover time again: This time, Mulder and
Scully
cross sabers and
scalpels with Dr. Greg House, he of the world's most brilliant
diagnostic mind and the planet's worst bedside manner. Plus, as the Law
and Order folk say, we rip our story from recent headlines, adding a
soupcon of lycanthropy...
LIED
TO THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT
ABOUT
UFO
ABDUCTION
CROSSOVER/HUMOR
Two crossovers for one: Earl Hickey, the likable if
incorrigible
trailer park king of My Name Is Earl, runs afoul of Mulder, Scully,
shrewish ex-wife Joy, and a pizza-loving alien...
DOGGED
CASEFILE/HUMOR
I am the most sports-deficient geek in Central
Illinois. Thus, when I
sought to submit a story for the annual VS sports special, I turned to
the quasi-sport of competitive eating for quite possibly the grossest
story I have yet writ...
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Z1372
CASEFILE/CROSSOVER
Crossover craziness; a
Bruckheimer buffet. CSI's Gil Grissom, Without a
Trace's Jack Malone, and Cold Case's Lilly Rush and Will Jeffries lend
a hand in a cross-country case of serial abduction, radical amnesiacs,
Nazi secrets, and Mulder's own demons...
FRIDAY
CASEFILE
Take a little bit of Quentin Tarantino, a soupcon of
David E. Kelley,
and a touch of Ed McBain -- the father of the multi-plotted "modular"
cop novel -- and you've got this tale of three agents pursuing three
cases on a single Friday night.
AN XMAS
CAROL
HOLIDAY/HUMOR/CROSSFILE
Morris Fletcher is back out on the loose/In a story inspired by one Dr.
Suess/Dr. House makes a house call to Scully's dismay/And a fellow
named Modell's having a bad day...
MACK'D
CROSSOVER/MYSTERY
The NYPD's most eccentric genius pairs up with the
FBI's oddest agent to solve a Broadway murder with supernatural
elements straight out of a Shakespeare tragedy, in this Criminal Intent
crossover.
JUDGMENT
CALL
cROSSOVER/MYSTERY
Raines was a six-episode wonder from NBC, with Jeff
Goldblum funny and touching as a detective who talks to his dead
imaginary victims. In this crossover, Raines teams up with Mulder to
solve the murder of a judge who appears less imaginary than the average
victim.
DOUBLE
PLAY
CASEFILE
Another baseball story, once again played against my
beloved Chicagoland. Chicagoland also is an epicenter of quantum
research, via the Argonne National Laboratory, and therein lies the
rub. Batter up!
FACETIME
CROSSOVER/MYSTERY
LAPD Deputy Police Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson is one
of the greatest detectival creations on TV since Robert Goren, and
since she lives in La-La Land and with one of LA's most diligent and
patient FBI agents, it figured she'd lock horns with Fox Mulder. It's a
case of facelifts, demons, and suspect virgins.
FILE
X
cROSSOVER/HUMOR
The Sitcom and Dramatic Universes are seperated by a
tissue-thin membrane. Here, Mulder and Scully pierce that membrane to
investigate a mystical fishfall at the "The Office."
DOMINION
MOTW
Here's a story I reconfigured from my 10X site,
reshaping the story of marine monstrosity and Melvillean obsession for
the wiles of Mulder and Scully. This tale actually cobbles together
some very strange-but-true scraps of actual postwar history and
cryptozoology.
THE
HOOK
HUMOR
Boys' night out, and you gotta know Mulder and his
pals would run into the weird and uncanny even on a fishing trip.
FOOD
FOR THOTH
HOLIDAY/CASEFILE/SEMI-CROSSOVER
It's Thanksgiving, and once again Mulder and Scully
have to miss supper, this time for a case of ancient relics, modern
physics, and a touch of nostalgia. Bones fans be advised -- or beware.
EL
HABLAR
CON
LOS MUERTOS
CASEFILE
Even on vacation, amateur detectives, cops, and
paranormal investigators can't seek to avoid running into a little
overtime. Welcome to the Mexican resort of Cozumel and to the
celebration of The Day of the Dead.
RED
FLAG
CASEFILE
Recently took my second trip to China, which is
changing quicker than actresses behind stage at a '30s musical. Mulder
and Scully are on bodyguard/detective duty with a traveling Cabinet
official when a swarm of "skyfish" swoop down to grab some
international headlines.
AND COMING SOON...
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Martin's